Day 41 - After the before photo

I lost another 1.1 lbs and realized I best take a before photo. This is after having lost 13 lbs. I hate these photos and love them at the same time. I wish I had taken a current photo 13 lbs ago which I'm sure if I looked I could find something to suffice. However, this will have to do. Now to keep melting away so I can have something to compare it to.
I am now currently the same weight I was at halfway through my pregnancy. Which is why I rely not only on lbs but also on inches. I might be the same weight as when I was pregnant but I am FAR smaller! (see photos if you do not believe me)
Photos are under the rolls of fat ;p

Day 26 - Literature in the making

Today my dear friend Jenny surprised me with a wedding planning book. So excited was I to crack that baby open that I have stayed up WELL into the night writing out the silliest details. Making sure every question that I can answer has been answered.
Let's see, Name of bride? well I think I know that. Name of groom? Oh that one is easy. Date of wedding? Where was the proposal? Who will be the bridesmaids? Done, done and done. Wow, makes you feel so productive even if it is just stuff you already knew.
For all other details that I'm not prepared to commit to in ink I have added paper with jotted ideas. I'm so excited to fill this book with inspiration but I'm not prepared to rip up my bridal magazines.
So for now I'll fill out a paper with a guest list for every event. Three different colors, one for those invites that are mandatory, the people I have to invite whether I like it or not. One color for the bridal party those vip. Lastly one color for those people we'd like to invite but aren't necessary and so might have to be filtered through later. Oh look, I've created a rainbow, a bridal rainbow of chaos! Only I will know why Mary Jo is written in blue while Mary Ellen is in red. Hopefully I can remember tomorrow morning. 

Day 23 - We'll get there in time

Well if I ignore the direct results with the wedding I can feel slightly productive. It can be so frustrating to know what you need and not be able to get it yet. I can't control our income but I can control our output and my weight and so I have focused on that.
I've began to tighten those budget strings. I'm doing it slowly because I know if I go too fast we'll only fall back and go further in debt or at least back to square one. This week we have cut up and canceled (completely paid for) 3 credit cards! That felt great! Still a way to go but it's a start.
I've also been very active and consistent with my fitness pal and have lost another 2.1 lbs. Even with David's christmas potluck today and my friends daughter's birthday party I managed to stay under my calorie goal for the day. Strong will and determination will get me there.
For a laugh David received a bridal magazine for his christmas present from work. He was given a gift card too but I loved the bridal magazine gift. There was a little post it stuck in it that said, "David I think you'll look good in this one."
Of course I was excited to get home and look through that magazine for inspiration. :) But I'm the bride, of course I'm supposed to be excited to flip through thousands of pictures of dresses that mostly look identical!
There was a little part of me that said, "wouldn't it be funny if I ended up in the dress the co-worker had quickly and likely blindly stuck a post-it to?" but of course the dress selected was not the dress I was looking for. 

Day 16 - Riding nerdy

Today, in exasperation, I began driving around downtown looking for a venue. Did I mention I did this in a google car? I can't afford to spend the entire day walking around downtown looking for a venue and we don't have nor can we afford a car. So I resorted to cruising around with my mouse until I saw locations. I would then jot them down to later pull up their website to research what they had to offer.
I of course did this during naptime so it was all under strict time constraints.
Armed with a notepad of questions to ask each location I pushed forward in hopes to find that one spot that fit within our criteria.
What did I learn?
That some places are flexible but most are expensive and none or perfect. Nothing narrowed down today. Really wish we had a house, I'd just plan to have it there. Honestly I just want a friend with a house and a big lawn at this point to say, "hey, why don't you have it here?!" and I would say, "That'd be great! THANKS!"

I want to be close to where we are having our photographs taken because I don't want to make guests wait long while we have our photographs done. Other than that I mostly just want the place to be affordable while still making me gasp, "THIS is where I was meant to be married." I don't want to fall in love with a place until I know it's within my budget and offers everything I desire. Until then I will continue riding in the passenger seat of google mobile and cruise on a mission for cyber venues. 

Day 15 - Photographs last longer than money

I'm down 7.7 lbs so far and if I go with some of the photographers I'll be down 100 lbs pretty fast as I'll be too broke to feed myself. I was looking at Jeff Cooke's photography today and I nearly wept. I saw this one photo that IS what we want for our photos. At least the location. The moment I saw the clock in the background tears came to my eyes. I knew instantly I could not afford this photographer and confirmed it through communication with him later. $4000 as a starting cost. Well geez that'd leave me $1000 for our venue, dress, flowes, tux, cake etc. I don't know how we're going to make this work. I'm trying so hard to stay under $5000 but with a venue costing likely $2500 and a dress being at least $600 photographer is at least $2000 flowers $300 and you haven't even touched the rings yet nor the marriage license, the videographer, the dj, the license. This is so frustrating. I have the wedding planned I just don't have the how to pay for it planned.
I need to walk away now or I'm going to cry.

Day 15 - Wedding invasions of the dream

YAY I have lost a whole 3.1 lbs more and have thus far been gaining nothing back. Not more than .2 of a lb which I lose the next day and then some. I'm loving watching this weight just melt of.

I've also learned that if I have a long conversation about wedding stuff with Kathy just before bed... it results in a dream of sleep overs where we are planning weddings. Well that was silly. Her wedding is coming up soon though and so we certainly had a fair amount to talk about.

No much else to update about, <3 your hippie bride.

Day 10 - MEN!

What is with men?! Not all men, I don't like to stereotype but if my romantic, loving man can be so uninvolved in a wedding there certainly must be a lot of other men.

He is glad to be getting married but asking him to look at two cake samples and he acts as though you told him to bend over and cough. I love him, I do, I just worry that I might slap him a little in his sleep and deny knowing where the bruises came from in the morning. "I swear, I had this dream that you were hovering over me and gave me a whack on the arm!" "Oh sweetheart, that's silly! Now, could you take a peak at these two photos, do you want the white daisies or the pink?"

Outside of my fiancée's collapse in testosterone this weekend was very successful. We have learned more about our venue, prices and options.

Now I'm torn though, both venues are good in their own ways and a little lacking in luster in other ways.

Venue A Pros:

• Personal and sentimental in it's location
• 2 seconds walking from where we want our wedding photos to be taken
• Would only cost $1500 - $1800 and would include tent set up
• Would not be inside a building but would still remain away from the elements

Venue A Cons:

• The location lacks in beauty and is a bit more military than we ever could be.
• Not sure of how we'd hook up our sound system for walking down the aisle.
• There isn't really an..aisle to walk down.

Venue B Pros:

• It's gorgeous! Absolutely breathtaking! Stone steps leading down a grassy hill to a gazebo on a lake beach. GORGEOUS!
• It would cost $1000 for the wedding, $1500 for the wedding plus the booking of the additional room inside in case of rain. It'd be $2000 if I want them to take photos and $2500 with the extra room and photos. Considering the photographer would cost me $1200-$1500 that potentially saves me $500....if they take nice photos ;) 

Venue B Cons:

• It holds no sentimental value to us what-so-ever
• It's a 27 minute drive from where we want to have our wedding photos taken.
• I'm not sure again how we'd hook up our sound system for walking down the stone path into the gazebo. 

Compared to each other one is personal, one isn't. One is Gorgeous one isn't. As far as price goes they are tied but location not so much. It's tough. When I went to show him the photos of Venue B (he already is familiar with Venue A) he wanted nothing to do with it. Not with the venue mind you, with the pictures. He says, "As long as you're happy" and has the resolve that seeing any pictures would make him quite unhappy. So what is a girl to do? Bitch and moan and insist their fiancée look of course! I'll try him again in a few days. I still have more questions for the operators of said venues. 

Past week one, your hippie bride! <3 

Day 8 - Singing and dancing

I've begun to envision my wedding reception. The people I want to see there, the people I want to dance with, those I want pictures with and what songs make me think of these people.

This song came to mind today and took me back to a time in my life when romance was only just starting to play a part. A simpler time when I was not even a teen yet. I remember dancing around for hours to this song with my best childhood friend Kathy! It's one of those times in your life that you'd gladly relive again.

As much as my relationship with her has faded in the years and we've grown apart with busy schedules, distances and different life choices here and there she will always hold an important place in my heart and memories.

On my wedding day I'm going to drag her ass out onto the dance floor to shake her tail feather with me to this song! Her and anyone else I can grab sure but absolutely must dance with her!

I can still combine my childhood dreams and happiness with my future happiness. I just have to negate the inbetween bits. ;) 

Day 7 - A Rolling Ring Gathers No Moss!

WHOA! What a productive day. It seems the moment I knew my colors would work I moved on. Almost like it was a big speed bump and once past I could just fly! Today started conversation with a friend who would be honored to marry us. What followed was a message to the photographer, conversations with the DJ and planning the venue. Even planning the events of the day so they would work. It is all coming together and we still have so many months to go! 604 days to be precise!

So what did we figure out today? Well to start, it's sounding very reasonable to have our friend marry us which is super exciting. That will make the day that much more personal. The venue is still a bit of a juggle but I feel when we actually go check places out it'll be more final. We may even have our ceremony and reception at one place and simply have it set up while we have our photos taken and then return for the reception. That would make sense right?! Would certainly cost less ;)

I then tracked down the photographer and assuming he does work in my city we have our photographer for a lovely $1200-$1500 (I giggle because Single Ladies - Beyonce just came on my track. The song he was singing all month) My only question and concern for the photographer is does he also do videography? I assume not... but one should never assume. Really though, how can you expect him to be taking photographs of you walking down the aisle if he's manning a video camera? So who will we get to do that?! *STRESSER* I really desire a video of my wedding day, the wedding and our first dance. Some other bits but those are the most important videos I want. We plan on having a special dance for our first dance (it's a surprise) so a videographer is a MUST! :) But I'll figure it out. 604 days left ;)

I sent my old DJ a message and he has expressed he is available to me within our budget. I then asked if he'd mind doing the ceremony as well. We have special songs selected that are not standard piano played songs. He hasn't objected so that'll be grand :)

The colors seemed to be my writers block and now the book is just flying! Honestly, if it weren't for our financial situation we could EASILY send out wedding invitations for this summer. But I want to do this right as it's the only wedding I'm ever going to have! :)

Feel the excitement people!

The only additional things my bombarded fiancée and I have discussed are things like:

• Photographer sharing - I would like the photographer be there when the girls and I are getting ready. Yet I also want photographic memories of his day. The solution? Simple, assuming we are still living in this building I will get ready with the girls in our apartment and he will use another tenants apartment. We are fortunate enough to have a very tight knit community in this building and I am sure the tenants would be more than thrilled to share their dwelling for the day. That way the photographer could simply run back and forth between us which would be no different than going to a room down the hall in a big house! :) We'd have the maid of honors and the best men ensuring that neither bride nor groom exited at the same time. As much as we will likely spend the night together the night before the wedding we will not be seeing each other all dressed up before the wedding.
  
• Soundtrack - Music means a lot to us and it's something we're being very selective of. We have unique entrance music for the wedding party as well as mine. Our exit music and then the entrance to the reception. All of it is planned out :)
  
• Goofy is the new Happy - Just that he's loving how goofy happy I am and I'm loving how quietly full of smiles he's been.
  
• The Groom will not wear pink - "Honey what about this wedding is important to you?" D- "You're happiness. As long as you don't make me look like a complete Jack ass!" I later tested this and with a very serious tone I said, "Honey, I was thinking a Yellow Tux with pink stripes and then a hot pink vest." D - "Excuse me?!" Me - "Yes, I figure if we had a lemon yellow tux with vertical powder pink stripes and then a hot pink vest - " D - "I am not wearing pink!" Me - "Just making sure you'd draw a line! *smiles* Oh by the way, you're wearing a wine colored vest." 

Well I wasn't planning on posting today but it was too productive not to talk about. Now to lose 50lbs in a year! *stress* Hippie Bride

Day 6 - Red & Black..edit: Wine & Pink!

Today when discussing colors one of my neighbors suggested red and black. Although it seems obvious I hadn't previously considered it whole heartedly. I will have to think more on that now. The maid of honors would of course have their choice of combination. One combination would be Red Dress with black accents/sash and shoes with red bouquet and black accents/ribbon. The other would be the reverse. The bridesmaids would all have one combination and the maid of honors the opposing.

Right now I'm trying to find an old website I used once a million years ago to create my original theme. I was only playing around at the time where the whole thing seemed so distant. But my beast squealing "mom" in the next room isn't helping my concentration any. Overall life has mostly returned to normal.

Although I read this site about planning your wedding in 6 months and that'd be fabulous. I just don't think we can and by the time I know if we can it'll be too late to send out invites. I sure would love to get married this coming summer though. Maybe I should go look at dresses and start figuring out how much we could afford if we were to get married this summer. Pretty sure it's not happening though. Not on our budget. If I want to save up for this wedding I need a lot more than 6 months! We're still not even sure if 20 months is enough but damn it, it's going to have to be!

If I find that website I shall post some sample photos of color themes but if not, this is all until Monday from this hippie bride. :)

Edit:

I'm 99.6% sure these are my colors:

This color wine with a light pink accent. The men will have this wine color with light pink flowers.
The girls will have this wine color for their dress with light pink accents. Their flowers will be both light pink and this wine color.
FYI this wine color is the toenail paint color I've been talking about forever now ;p

Day 5 - Conversations with "The man"

Ever since we became engaged I've noticed he seems happier. That isn't what you would necessarily expect in these situations, yet he has been smiling every day this week. This is also a little unusual because usually he is down in the dumps this time of year. I'm not complaining, in fact if anything I am touched. If he has become happier based on his being engaged to me I'm flattered!

That's where the surprise ends, lighter spirit or not he's still a man and doesn't care about color samples, wedding party lists, guest lists, dates, venues. As long as I'm happy and don't put him in a ridiculous suit in front of a lot of people he's happy.


Me - "Honey, what do you think of these two colors?" *holding up toenail color next to fingernail color*
Him - *grunts* "they're fine." *returns to what he was doing*
Me - "I'm serious.
Him - "I know you are."
Me - "I like the wine color with the light pink. But what would the men wear?
Him - *shrugs*
Me - "Well, obviously they'd wear the dark one...but then they would all be wearing the same. I don't want to put them in the light pink. What could we do to distinguish the best men from the ushers? Cause you are getting 2 best men you know cause I can't pick between my two maid of honors! It's absolutely not happening!"
Him - *laughing* "I really don't care, whatever makes you happy."
Me - "I'm going to continue to ask you these questions. I don't expect you to get giddy over napkins, calligraphy or invitation samples but I'm going to continue to ask you."
Him - *laughs* "I figured as much."

Me - "So who do you want to be your best man?"
Him - *shrugs*
Me - *makes a few obvious suggestions*
Him - *shrugs*
Me - "Well you have to pick your own best men! I'm not picking your best men, they're yours to abuse! Oh and who do you want to marry us?"
Him - *confused* "Who?!"
Me - "Yeah, it's more personal and would save us money if we had a friend marry us. It's not that hard to become an officiant as far as I know and if we had say Jer marry us I'm sure he wouldn't charge us hundreds of dollars for his services."
Him - "True"
Me - "Then it'd be personal, affordable and non-denominational. Besides, some officiants want you to get married at a specific spot and take couples counseling."
Him - *eye roll*
Me - "So rather than have a stranger marry us I think it'd be sweet to have a friend do it. Any ideas?"
Him - *shrugs*
Me - "I'm going to go do laundry now..."
Him - "k."

Me - "What do you think, assuming it didn't cost too much and it was completely possible, if we got married *insert secret location here*?"
Him - *shows genuine interest* "That would be cool."
Me - "The only thing is that's a public place and I don't know if you can rent it out and if you could how many thousands of dollars would it be. And then it's outside too so if it were to rain we'd have to have tents rented.
Him - *no interest* "true."
Me - "But that's only a couple hundred dollars."
Him - *not listening, just nodding* "It's possible."
Me - "Are you listening any more?"
Him - "Sounds fine."

Poor man, what was he thinking?!

On the positive side for him he's considered a complete romantic at work now, I think that's grand that he's finally recognized for his roots ;)

Well, aside from glancing at colors and trying to wiggle a few wedding party names out of him I've done little towards my wedding today. Oh I lie, I had him take a few photos of me with my ring and the flowers he gave me the day he proposed.

 

Tomorrow is another day, until then, goodnight.

Day 4 - Game Plan

It has become clear that I need a game plan. Well, it was always clear. But if I want this to go down without breaking the bank and without waiting until my daughter is through college I need to do what I can to scrimp and save. I also don't want to forget something.

Today's mission was to get a list of all the things to do and put it in a time line as to when I wanted to do them.

Things like, "Buy your dress in Nov." and "finish your vows in April"

My friends are almost more excited than I am. One of my maid of honors (yes one of, I have two) had a dozen ideas for wedding colors and some great ideas for silk  flowers to save me some money. My other maid of honor (YES I HAVE 2!! :p ) keeps "accidentally" stumbling on wedding dress sites and rings. ;)

I love my girls, they are so happy I'm happy and that makes me even more happy :) Oh feel the love!

I spent today (outside of work) listening to music while I cleaned. Whenever a song came on that was sentimental to us or I wanted to dance to at my wedding I'd drag it into a folder I called "wedding" obvious right?

I was picky and only have 6 in it so far. Although, I was doing chores and would forget to listen for those songs sometimes. But I think if they were important I'd have picked up on them.

The cheesiest song on the list is "lovin' you - Minnie Riperton" Oh Em Gee that song is some serious cheese! However, it played on our old tv show scrubs <3 and it played on Megamind the movie we watched the day we got engaged. So of course now whenever I hear it I will think of the night I was waiting for him to pop! :)

Well, that's all from me. I have an early morning tomorrow and it's already...erm... morning!

Day 3 - A return to chores

So after a 3 day absence from real life and thus my chores I went into the kitchen today and did all my dishes. Not that there were many, we are a small family. Yet still catching up to my chores with my daughter around and tending to my job as well, it's a full days work. I still have yet to wash the floor since Friday and I think I forgot some laundry in the Dryer on Saturday. *yawn*

Aside from my return to chores there was the forced realization of just how much the phones have been ringing this week...and how much time I've been on them. All three of my phones died spontaneously tonight! GAH!

Another self-realization was that I shouldn't headbang with my daughter no matter how excited I am to be engaged or how cute Willow Smith is. My neck...it kills me right now! I'll leave the hair whipping to my daughter from now on!!!

Lastly I need sleep, I'm getting wedding color inspiration from everything now. Earlier today, while my fiancée was rubbing my sore, whiplashed neck, I saw my painted finger nails and toenails next to each other. My toes have a dark pink wine color and the fingers are a lighter shade of pink. I bragged my flexibility as I lifted my foot over my head and asked him, "Honey, what do you think of these for the wedding colors." Bless him he didn't mock or tease, mostly because he could never lift his foot like that, he simply grunted, "I ah na" and made with the lotion for my shoulders.

I didn't expect to get quite this excited about the prospect of a wedding but now that we've put a title to everything it just seems more real.

I have drawn one conclusion and am glad to be arriving at a level of cynicism I'm more accustomed to. I found myself a little lip-curl when someone said, "So you finally got him to ask the question!" I resent that phrasing. I didn't hold his hand behind his back and demand he propose with my knee pushed into his ribs. When I told him this he laughed and said he obviously didn't get that comment but he would get the, "Finally making an honest woman out of her eh?" Since when were we foul? I didn't realize we stunk of single-life and cheap sex! I thought we were living a pretty wholesome life. Guess I was wrong.

On a serious note I know these people mean well but it's similar to the statement to the pregnant woman who is 2 weeks late, "The baby will come when it wants to." What are they trying to say? My baby doesn't want to meet me?! Thanks! Sometimes "congratulations" is a better turned phrase. ;)

Off to bed 10 minutes early tonight, that is if I can convince myself to stay off the knot shop. 

Later, your hippie bride

Day 2 - continued glee

It seems the phone doesn't stop ringing lately. Everyone wants to know, how did he ask? What did you say? Were you surprised? When did he ask? Where did he ask? What does the ring look like? When are you getting married?

I don't mind answering and in fact I go over the details at night by myself. But the big thing is the wedding seems that much more real now. We've been planning this wedding since 2007 and now I can talk about it and not sound like the crazy desperate spinster who is in denial. The ring on my finger removes all doubt. I'm getting married.

I didn't work out too many new  details today, spoke to more people and just walked around glancing at my hand and thinking, "wow...it's really real..." I'm more than excited to marry my best friend and wish now that I'd been a little more spinstery and had more planning done for I would love if  I could have this wedding in 3 months!

I did find time to make some foolish video to announce our engagement. I also learned that throwing rice does not make birds blow up. I'm relatively disappointed in myself for not having already snope verified that one years ago. *facepalm* The productive part of the day was spent decorating our tree together.

Alas, today I am thinking colors. I'm torn between deep pinks, reds, blues, whites... everything looks so nice. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to move forward with any one thing until I tackle another. I don't like the idea of unfinished business. I need to decide on my colors before I move forward because decorations depend on my theme.

I know I want to be non-traditional, non-denominational and something that is close to home for us. There will be a lot of "kal Ho Naa Ho" integrated into the wedding. I won't reveal too much in this blog as far as these things are concerned because some things are intended to be a secret until the day. But I think anyone who knows us knows how much the movie "Kal Ho Naa Ho" means to us and the music. Songs from Kal Ho Naa Ho and Dil Se Re always take us back to when we first started dating. I've listened to Kal Ho Naa Ho every night since we became engaged. Just makes me feel that little extra burst of love that I felt when we were younger. The suspense, the anticipation, the unknownn.  All those feelings come back and I just can't wait for those next steps down the aisle. But one thing I know is I don't want to wish away this moment now. Too often we are so anxious for the next step we forget to embrace today. I've always avoided that in the past and I will continue to do so. I'm going to enjoy being engaged because I'm only going to be engaged once.

I'll live life to the fullest, kal ho na ho {tomorrow may not be}


Here it is 12:39 am and once again I'm up late unable to sleep. The house is quiet and so I must plan my tomorrow. Good night, your hippie bride.

Day 1 - The silly behavior

Hello,
We have finished day one of my engagement. I have been planning the actual wedding for almost 4 years now. You'd think the engagement would change very little in my behavior as it's such common place for me now......You'd be wrong!

I spent today basking in the glow of my ring and adding every possible wedding related thing to my facebook. Okay, so they were already added, but I updated them to "engaged" and posted the updates to my wall. Juvenile? Most definitely! I couldn't help it, I've been imaging this moment from my childhood. The excitement was bound to surface.

But, to give myself some credit I was slightly practical. I spent about 15 minutes confirming my guest list, the one I'd started in 2007, to ensure I was still friends with the people on it. I then went through it with a fine toothed comb to remove any of those "obligatory invites" that I really didn't like. If they are offended they are not there than they aren't really that happy for me... I'm the bride, I'm allowed to be selective.

After finalizing my guest list I made the seating plan. I used the data base at the knot shop to do this. It creates an image for you and you can ensure Grandma Sue doesn't sit near her ex husband Grampa Joe because the two of them would just stir up drama. You also want to sit the cranky Miss Finster with the cynical Mrs. Dupis, this way they won't depress anyone else with their complaints about the dry food. You put the chipper Ms. Doyle next to the young folk and make sure to keep Cousin Frank away from the gift table, he's a bit of a kleptomaniac!

I was impressed with how easy it was to put my relatives far away from the relatives they hated and separate tables and move friends near friends. Then I matched up friends who only know me and no one else with people I felt they would most mesh with. Once it was done I had a picture in front of me that made it all so much more real. When my fiancée realized what I was doing he made a slightly nervous face. I believe he realizes that his life has changed the moment he put a ring on my finger.

For instance he doesn't share the bed with me anymore. Not because he snores, but because I'm staying up until 1am updating social utilities that I don't use anymore. Such as Myspace and Orkut. I even went as far as to log into old e-mails and confirm they said I was engaged. Yup, I'm basking. Basking in the sparkly glow... I'm also falling asleep at the keyboard. *faint*

That's all for now, your hippie bride, Bwings