Day 583 - Dance till you drop

Last night was my bachelorette, a silly but necessary component of the modern bride's trip down the aisle.....okay, maybe not necessary but I can not imagine not having one.

For the purpose of being completely honest I shall tell you that my brain is fried. I am tired, I was drinking and as much as I am not hung over and wasn't drunk, I most certainly am finding it difficult to put words together this morning. Please ignore the choppy manner by which I relay the night to you.

timeline? Sure.... informal...choppy, perfect for a morning after blog entry.

• My maid of honor showed in the am to come with me to my make-up appointment. I had booked it for the bachelorette day so I could see how the make up held up through a full day. If it was successful and looked good I would have them do my make-up the wedding day. It was a success. 
• We returned home to wait for our "extra guest". The bachelorette was to be the bridal party plus one although later it was plus two. Unfortunately one of my bridesmaids found herself ill the night before so she was not able to make it to the bachelorette. :( But we will have to abduct her for another day out! A post-wedding celebration! 
• With our "extra guest" in tow we headed out to lunch at my friend's restaurant. I'm hoping to have our rehearsal dinner at the same location. 
• After lunch it was off to have a mani-pedi with the girls. We met up with my sister (other bridesmaid) at this point and the four of us laid back and got pampered. okay, perhaps 3 of us, my sister apparently does not find the pedicure process very pampering. We got a kick out of her squirming during the process though. 
• After this we ran back to my place to gather our gear for the night and pick up the plus 2. 
• At my sisters place we started the night with a sexy and the city party. Even cooler than I could have imagined. :) Won some awesome prizes too! 
• Then garlic fingers, penis cake and more booze. Followed by a trip to the club. 

I can say this for dancing or at least heading out to a club for a bachelorette, at least for me, is a very different atmosphere than just going out to the club. I couldn't quite peg it last night but looking back this morning I think a biggest thing is that your upcoming wedding is at the front of your mind the whole time. Not necessarily stressing you but perhaps distracting you or maybe even just adding an element to the moment. When you are going out dancing you are just going out dancing and to everyone around you that is the same fact. But when you go out for a bachelorette you are going out dancing to celebrate the end of your single life. Typically this involves some tell tale jewelry which results not only in free cover but also in congratulations from complete strangers and oohs and awws from girls who want to see your ring through their beer goggles. I had expected DJ's to be a little more attentive which at first was not the case. But when we switched bars or at least sections of the bar to another DJ he was a lot quicker to provide the tunes requested! Although, oddly enough for a bar scene, neither DJ had Shots - LMFAO something I've heard almost every time I've been out in the past year. But they did have Maneater - Nelly an older tune that my sister and I used to dance/drink to years ago. Just after that they played Low - Flo Rida a song which came out when I was pregnant and couldn't dance/drink to it at a club.
I think one of my favorite songs that the first DJ played was I will survive - Gloria Gaynor oddly enough a song I can't really stand ... I don't hate it, I just ... don't listen to it. If it is on an ipod I press skip. It's just...it is a theatrical song that you have to be in a theatrical mood to listen to. Sure enough, I dragged my Maid of Honor up unto the speakers and we belted it out to no one in particular and each other of course. So maybe it is a song I might at some point request in the future when out. Just a fun drinking out with the girls song apparently. Not a frequent one though, I put it on just now to see if I had a new love for it. I don't, in fact I'm about to turn it off when I finish this paragraph. However, it at least now has a memory to connect to it that will make me smirk when I think of me doing the running man on the speaker in my six inch heels while I told no one in particular to "go on now go! Walk out the door!" something I didn't realize was quite as dangerous until I did it sober last night. Those speakers have just enough space all around them for a heel to slip down and break a leg. Yikes, had I been drunk I think I might have injured myself quite badly! But I also wouldn't have been doing the running man on a speaker in 6" inch heels were I drunk. Nope...not a chance! 

OH another highlight of the night was that in the beginning on all the speakers there was a large group of people who were doing the same dance moves and getting the crowd in on it. They'd switch it up as if they were giving a fitness class or dance lesson. It was quite amusing. Although I didn't join in necessarily I did enjoy the random participation of the rest of the room.
Another would be this drunk girl who was loooooaadddedd t-rexing it all night. just back and forth with her trashed buddy up on the stage. she'd t-rex to one end of the room, sweep her hand through her hair then t-rex back to the other end. Ocassionally she'd switch it up by putting her hands on her hips and doing a move which can only be compared to the fresh prince doing Jump on it in high speed and then regaining balance to t-rex back to the other side of the room.

By the end of the night we were just getting goofy and having silly fun. I even tried to get a lapdance from a poor sap. All in good fun of course and didn't expect him to nor would I have let it go on for long, I guess you could say it was just me having fun at someone else's expense and seeing if they had the balls to put on a show for fun. When he didn't we just did ourselves, everything from mocking our t-rexing girl from the other bar to a quick spurt of thriller and then just random shit we named or associated with people or activities.

All around, a great night, and when I came home and curled up with my hubby-to-be it suddenly felt soooo real once more. He said the same, with all those last little details coming to a close it feels like that wedding is coming up. Which is good, since it is 29 days away! Now if only I could help his pen hit paper so he could finish start his vows! ;) 

See below the fold for a few pictures. Mind you there is a synthetic penis so this is not for the sensitive and/or virginal eyes. No babies, NSFW and don't come complaining to me when you walk away laughing.

<3 your happy hippie bride

Day 535 - Guest lists are for wussies

When I started the "engaged" chapter of my life I received many congrats and even more advice. The one piece of advice I received the most is the one piece of advice I scoffed at the most. Here are some statements I heard about guest lists over the past 535 days:

"Oh the guest list! What a pain! Try not to put too much of your heart into it because most people won't appreciate your consideration in the end."  

"About 90% will RSVP attending and about 60% of those will actually show up. What a waste of your money! I wish you luck." 

"My guest list caused me so much trouble I wish I had just eloped." 

"I don't regret my wedding or having gone through with it. I do wish I had had a potluck wedding and just put it out there that whoever the hell wanted to show could show. But I'm sure that would have pissed someone off too. You can't win with the guest list so don't try."

"Guest list? I threw out some names and hoped for the best. I ended up having mostly people neither me nor my husband knew there. I'd say of our guest list 30% were people we had invited and the rest were friends that those guests had invited without telling us!" 

"Oh what a headache! If you ever need proof that you can't please everyone you'd find it in the guest list at a wedding. In fact I am pretty sure you can displease most with a guest list. Everyone feels entitled or overlooked no matter what you do. Just don't expect anyone to show and thank everyone that does come, whether you invited them or not." 

"Guest lists and seating charts. They still haunt me and we've been married for 10 years now! I remember paying close attention to where I sat everyone because both our families were in year long fights. After all my painful efforts to ensure everyone got a seat next to someone they cared about it was horrible. People showed that we had not invited, the people who were to sit between those who hated each other ... they didn't show. And what's worse is that people stood around at the seating chart fighting rather than taking their seats away from each other. If I could do it over again I'd have just a simple ceremony, blow everyone a kiss and hop in a limo headed for the airport!" 

I never listened. I always said, "oh no... that won't happen to me. I'm going to make sure." I convinced myself that these brides just weren't as organized as me. I convinced myself that they had gone in with extra assumptions or hadn't stood firm on their desires for their wedding day. In some cases I may have been right. But when I offer advice for the next bride to be it's going to be this, "The moment you begin your guest list make sure you have a prescription for Valium because every time that phone rings you are going to look at the caller id in fear that it is his family or yours calling to tell you how you did them wrong, how you failed them, how they are far more important than anyone else on your guest list."

Perhaps the most surprising part for me is just how entitled a lot of guests can get. They all have some reason why they feel they are more important than anyone else on your guest list and because of that they should be allowed to:
RSVP at the last minute, invite 3 extra guests without telling you, change their mind 3 or 4 times, call you at midnight to insist you should have some other meal options or better yet tell you, "I know that you are offering fish or vegetarian but we've been friends for years, so I know you won't mind making mine a juicy steak!"
Yes... they are serious, they believe that above all others they are the most important person at your wedding. Maybe even more important than you!

The good news is this, I also heard plenty of drama stories about bridal parties being nasty and all about themselves. I have to say that although a handful of guests have made the whole experience interesting my bridal party have been strong and true through the entire 535 days and then some.

Better yet they each have their roles in keeping me from sending anthrax out with some extra invites to more snotty guests. I have to say I have the perfect balance of nice and firm with my bridal party.

Maid of honor - She's the super sweet one when it comes to family. Whenever a guest is a family member she is there to keep me soft when I need to be soft and feel like throwing daggers. But she is also willing to nod when the family member is being crazy and say, "nope, you are allowed to throw daggers at that one. Ax that invite!"

Bridesmaids - I have one bridesmaid who is family and she is the one who knows without any backstory what I grew up with. Therefore when I have a dilema that needs immediate advise without taking the time to explain a backstory it would be her I call. My other Bridesmaid has already been a bride and knows a bit about the planning fun and the wedding drama. Through her I channel my etiquette concerns through her and ask what she did in certain situations.

Best Man - He's not just David's best man he's both of our best man! Aside from David he's the only man that's been around since the beginning and still is. He's been around more than my own family (which isn't saying much but still) he's the one I call when I am frusterated with David and need an ear I know won't hold it against David. He's also the one I call when I need the opposite reaction from my Maid of Honor. My Maid of Honor is the softy with family and sometimes you need someone who is tough. He is less likely to soften for just anyone and so I know when he does that maybe I should loosen up on them a little bit.

As per my posts from the past, if it weren't for my bridal party I think there would be a few shallow graves or at the very least the guest list would be a fraction of what it is. I don't regret any of this, I just wish some of my guests would stop and realize this wedding is about us and that's not them! I guess my advice would not be for a future bride-to-be but instead to her guests. My advice is:

Dear Guest,
When you feel looked over, second-fiddle or unappreciated stop and ask yourself: "How big is her guest list? How many people is she trying to please right now?" And when you find yourself feeling upset that you have to spend $200 on a hotel just to go to her wedding and you feel she should pay for your accommodations or give you a steak instead of a haddock, ask yourself: "How much money did she put into this wedding so everyone could have a good time? Can I afford to go? Should I send a nice present instead of going and talk to her personally so she knows it's nothing personal but that I can't afford $200 plus travelling cost?" If you find yourself thinking, "they won't mind if I bring my best friend. After all I am their cousin/friend of 6 years/father/mother/sister/brother/uncle/aunt/ex-boyfriend and/or I am travelling a long distance to attend their wedding." perhaps you should ask yourself, "How many of their guests have they been friends with for a long time? How many of their guests are traveling a long distance? How many of their friends are family of some way or another? If all of us feel the same entitlement to bring uninvited guests how many uninvited guests will be at their wedding?"

As a bride-to-be all we ask is for a little patience, understanding and respect. Be patient if we don't get to you right away when you send us a message about our wedding. Understand that we can't give everyone everything they want and respect that in some cases we don't give everyone everything they want because it's not what we want for our wedding! Give us this and we will do our very best to do the same at your wedding if you invite us. We are sorry if your haddock is too dry on the wedding day, we didn't cook it, but we did pay for it so you could have something to eat. We are sorry you prefer red wine and we ordered white. We don't like wine at all but ordered something we thought our guests might enjoy or be grateful for. We are sorry we didn't get to give you a one-on-one dance, there was only time for 40 dances and we had 80 guests. Please, before you get upset, ask yourself if you are being singled out or if in fact you are expecting a tad too much from one person.


Thank you so much in advance,
<3 your hippie bride...she is trying.

Day 502 - Productive!

I love when my maid of honor is around. I seem to get right into wedding mode when she is around. I think mostly because she typically is focused on it. Today I checked off so many things on my wedding list. They may seem small and trivial but at this point there are just a lot of trivial things left.

Bought the girls headdresses, designed the open dance invitations, bought lingerie for the honeymoon, bought another bouquet holder for the bridesmaids so I could finish another bouquet! Oh and made a payment on hubby-to-be's wedding band. :) All-in-all super awesomely productive day.

Now to lose these last 10 lbs...off for a night jog.

Only 110 days left!!!!!!!

<3 your excited hippie bride!!! 

Day 496 - Kuch To Hua Hai (Something Has Happened) (edit)

Here we are, day 496! WOW! What does that mean for planning? It means I have 116 days left until my wedding! As I sit here in my intensly organized jumble of wedding plans I can't help but think, "WOW!" That's pretty much all I think now.

In the past 496 days I have

1. Announced our engagement. 
2. Selected a wedding date
3. Determined a budget
4. Stuck to the budget 
5. Selected wedding rings.
6. Paid for our wedding rings
7. Decided on a guest list
8. Researched venues.
9. Fell in love with a venue
10. Adjusted our guest list so we could afford the venue
11. Had several mental breakdowns over the guest list
12. Discovered most venues require a minimum revenue.
13. Had hellish nightmares of unplanned weddings
14. Found a venue
15. Booked and paid for the venue
16. Gathered inspirational images to help in the planning
17. Decided on colors
18. Acquired a wedding planning book
19. Stocked up my wedding planning book 
20. Selected my bridal party
21. Had David select his bridal party
22. Stewed over who would be the maid of honor
23. Attended 3 bridal showcases with my friends and bridal party
24. Created a wedding website
25. Had our engagement photos taken
26. Sent out save the date wedding videos
27. Researched wedding dresses
28. Interviewed videographers
29. Deliberated over videographers
30. Finally settled on our videographer and sent our deposit! 
31. Decided on a baker and sent a deposit
32. Selected our DJ and sent our deposit.
33. Created a gift registry
34. Researched hotels
35. Viewed 9 different hotels before picking our honeymoon destination.
36. Decided on DIY Decor
37. Hosted an engagement party
38. Bought wedding dress
39. Designed invitations
40. Handcrafted invitations
41. Mailed out invitations 
42. Created a seating plan. 
43. Updated my expired license
44. Lost those last 33 lbs ;p (comparison entry -> here <- )
45. Logged in everyday to excitedly count the RSVPs as they came in. :) 
46. Got the girls together and decided on the bridesmaids dresses. 
47. Found a dress for the flower girl and ring bearer 
48. Booked the rehearsal day with the venue. 
49. Booked hairstylist & Make-up artist
50. Sent my day important dates to Jenny
51. Found a necklace and earrings for my wedding dress
52. Scheduled wedding gown fitting number 1
53. Began DIY on wedding flowers.
54. Selected ceremony music
55. Worked out a menu with the caterer
56. Decided on centerpieces
57. Began DIY of centerpieces
58. Selected speakers and readings for ceremony.
59. Priced liquor
60. Choreographed and practised first dance. 
61. Made parking arrangements for guests.
62. Provided Jenny with a guest list for shower and bachelorette
63. Discussed photos with photographer.
64. Created a playlist for the ceremony prelude etc.
65. Had my wedding ring sized

and all that remains is

1. Acquire lingerie
2. Decide on a menu with the caterer
3. Finish DIY projects like decorations, favours
4. Make appointment with hairstylist
5. Order wedding cake
6. Work out traffic and parking issues (make a map for guests)
7. Arrange rehearsal dinner 
8. Final ring payment
9. Final payment to DJ
10. Get the marriage license
12. DIY Wedding Bouquets
13. DIY Headdresses for girls
14. Final payment for Venue 
15. Finalize ceremony with officiant
16. Select a gift for groom
17. Seating Place Cards (DIY)
18. DIY Table Number Cards
19. Select gifts for wedding party
20. DIY Seating chart
21. DIY  guest book
22. Acquire hair accessories
23. Hair and makeup trial run
24. First Fitting
25. Order reception favours if DIY incomplete
26. Pick out something old, new, borrowed and blue
27. Pick up wedding David's ring
28. Buy Flower Basket for beast
29. Do name change paperwork, licence, banks, etc.
30. Tuxedo rentals & fittings for groom & groomsmen 
31. David has to write his vows
32. Final gown, headpiece, etc. fitting 
33. Arrange for someone to run errands for me on the day of 
34. Call invited guests who have not yet responded and beat the tar out of them
35. Attend bachelorette party
36. Confirm transportation plans
37. Confirm rehearsal plans
38. Have final facial (eyebrow waxing lol) 
39. Finalize count for rehearsal dinner
40. Review duties with wedding participants 
41. Review seating details with ushers 
42. Assemble a bridal emergency kit (include spritz bottle for static hair) 
43. Last-minute details with all service providers
44. Discuss strategy with photographer
45. Label envelopes with fees for officiant, dj, etc. (IF necessary, I plan to have all paid by June 21st)
46. Send gift thank-you cards Track gifts
47. Groom & groomsmen get haircuts
48. Give gifts to wedding party
49. Finalize reception count with caterer
50. Attend wedding rehearsal and dinner
51. Get a manicure/pedicure (David included :p )
52. Pick up rental wedding attire
53. Pack for wedding night and honeymoon
54. Give wedding rings to best man & maid of honor
55. Pay balance due to service providers (hopefully by June 21 giving me a stress free last month)
56. Have hair done
57. Sign and witness marriage license and run away screaming "IT'S OVER IT'S DONE!" 

So yes...wow! 

Day 358 - That was easy!

I was absolutely thrilled to have all my girls in one spot at once. as much as each may not be as close to the other as much as I am close to each of them it really is so nice to have them all together. 

As it turns out I will have one less bridesmaid than initially anticipated but it is with no drama and without heavy heart. I know it is for the best considering her current changes in life and where life is taking her. We are still great friends and will still be in touch. I'm glad she was honest with herself and I when I brought it up because I would have hated for her to put down a hefty deposit and then regret it later.

As far as picking the dress goes, it was actually really easy. All the girls agreed on one dress and although the original plan was for the maid of honor to have a different color combination than the bridesmaids they all loved the same combo. So instead we will make something else personal, perhaps a different color on her bouquet etc. 

girls in deep though (42)

It has been decided! 

 After dress shopping was complete it was off with my Maid of Honor to do some more bridal accessory shopping. With our daughters in tow of course. My daughter found this adorable lace umbrella and then gestured for the rain to come down.

 

<3 your hippie bride

Day 317 - Delegating duties

One of my favorite presents so far was a wedding planning book that my maid of honor bought for me in the beginning. I have kept it updated as the planning process has continued and with each month I fill my calendar with to-do's and tasks not yet accomplished.

Well, it's October, time to pull out the wedding bible to see what thsi month's to-do list entails and begin delegating duties and budgets.

Day 274 - Legal...tender and fine

Well, hubby-to-be wins! After encountering some very near problems last night I am FINALLY updating my expired ID...yeah...expired since 2009....and still hailing from a different province. I guess I'm stuck here for good now. *sigh*

I had planned on doing it regardless as it is a necessary component in acquiring a marriage license. But last night when I was almost not allowed to go into the club due to my expired license.... well time to change up.

And as fun as last night was it was so nice to come home and climb into my best friends arms. Then today I sent out our first wedding invitation!

<3 your hippie bride

Day 272 - Maid of honor celebration

This weekend promises to be productive. Today is Jenny's birthday and we are to going to take her out to her first club to celebrate on the weekend. To prepare for my weekend with my maid of honor I have acquired lots of material required to complete the invitations and prepared myself to get all dressed up for a night on the town afterwards.

Promises to be fun and productive!

<3 your hippie bride

Day 191 - We can make this work

We can make this work. We can afford this venue. We just have to alienate all our friends and only invite family we like, family we don't like and the bridal party. That's it! We won't have all those people we really want in attending but we'll have the view.....sure...we can make it work.

Took my maid of honour and our little monsters to view the venue once more. I wanted someone else to see just how awe inspiring this venue is. She too loved it. Very little....in fact no decorating needs to be done. It's absolutely amazing!

Alas, we have shrunk our guest list by 150 people in hopes to just barely scrape by. We all agree in the long run it is worth it and people will understand. Those who don't aren't really that friendly after all. 

Day 127 - Hippie says yes to the dress

Today was amazing. Those who know me know that I don't have family I have family drama. I have no parents (by choice) and only 1 sister. Although my family is biologically a 6 person gathering the actual family of mine is just two people. Myself and my sister (who is also a bridesmaid). It took many years for me to fully accept this and begin the healing process. In that time I have made some very dear friends. In the past 4 years I began saying, "Friends are the family you choose." Never has this felt more true than when planning my wedding.
Instead of a mother to brood over my decisions and hear me cry over small insignificant tiffs with my fiancé I have mama Jer (our best man) to listen to and offer a shoulder for my tears. Instead of a surrounding family of sisters excited for my wedding I have one bio sister and 3 others who I couldn't imagine life without. I have the logical one who lives in an organized chaos. I have the deep one who, like me, enjoys studying body language and different human behavior and I have the wild one who is as quiet as a mouse but as dangerous as a cheetah! ;p
Together they form my crazy family.
I gathered this family together today and went to the bridal shop. One bridesmaid had to work so although she wasn't there this time she had seen the dress and gave it her vote! Of the other 3 bridesmaids one had seen the dress in person and the other had seen it in photos. My best man had also seen it in photographs and so it was only my biological sister left to see it.
The plan was we would each select one dress and she would not know which one was the actual dress. She would know it wasn't the one she had picked of course but by picking one she would also be adding to the options she would then be picking from.
As I said before, I knew that a bride can get caught up in the moment and love the dress because it's in her budget and it's pretty but not because it's HER dress. Since I had already proven this before I was determined to ensure this was my dress beyond a shadow of a doubt.
We started by running around picking all our dresses. While we waited for the consultant to become available we paraded around picking out possible bridesmaids dresses. I wanted the same consultant that had initially picked out the dress for me. Once she (michelle) became available it was onward for the barrage of bridal. Everyone had cameras it seemed and before the dress trying began I laughed with two cameras in my face I said, "I feel like I'm on a TLC reality show." I enjoy editing together video of the important moments in life and so having the multiple angles to work with made it something special. I enjoyed not only being able to capture the dresses but also the people who were there to enjoy the day with me as well.

And although one of my bridesmaid couldn't make it, I later cropped in some photographs and made sure she was included in the video. Of course my fiancé wasn't there either so I had a few photos of him thus including my entire family. I have uploaded the video to my facebook page and for the first million times I watched it I teared up!
After all the dresses were tried on I put on and stood in THE dress and the discussion began. One dress was a close second but it was super heavy. Another I found had too many things going on and thus was shoved in the scarlett o'hara pile. Another, although gorgeous, was too blunt for my sister. Something that didn't even bother me while IN the dress but upon review of the video I see what she was speaking of and is an example of why others input is so important when you are surrounded by bridal glow.
There I stood, in the dress I felt best represented what I had always imagined for my wedding day next to another beautiful dress that is gorgeous on me but was more for a big church wedding than for what I have planned.
It was agreed by everyone quietly that the dress I was wearing was absolutely my dress. But it wasn't until one of my bridesmaid brought tears to my tired, stressed eyes that everyone knew for sure that this was my dress. She began talking about how long I'd been planning and all that I could think of was everything I'd gone through to get to this point in life. All the trials and tribulations I had endured to bring me to the safety of these friends. The people who had hurt me and made me who I was and how now I left only room for loving people such as these. Leaving me overwhelmed and wimpy I bawled like a baby without it's blankie.
And thus the dress was decidedly chosen. Now the concern left is that I have another 20 lbs to lose before I'm completely happy. I sure hope the dress still fits in a year.

Day 117 - Found it!.for real this time!

I went in today to try on dresses with two of my bridesmaids and a friend. I wedged in between the girls and thought to myself, "when I finish losing this weight I wonder if I'll fit nicely between you two!"
First we took the girls off to get their photos taken before returning them home to my man so we could have a child free trip to the bridal salon. Once we snuck out we picked up another bridesmaid and headed off to shop for dresses.
We stopped at the store we hadn't gone to last time to try on dresses and were told that without an appointment we could not be served.

There was no one but us in the store, it was as quiet as a dried up lake in the Sahara but still we could not be seen. Well, isn't that just wonderful? In the other store we could walk in, fill out a form and when someone became available you were served. So it was clear we would not be shopping at this store. However, why not look at bridesmaids dresses. You do not need assistance to try on bridesmaids dresses we were told so although we weren't likely to purchase from this store we could at least look. We found a few cute ones that resembled the dress I had picked out before and snapped a few shots.
But we weren't here to look for bridesmaids dresses we were here to look at wedding dresses, time to leave.
Gathering our bubbly girly selves we ran back uptown a bit to the original store. Once there we were each given a ring. You take the ring and if you find a dress and you like it you should put a ring on it ;). Once given the rings we were set loose. Among the selections was the dress from the original selection. I wanted to compare it to the others. I knew that you can sometimes get caught up in the moment and fall in love with a dress just because it's a beautiful dress or a dress at all. So I wanted to give this dress a real run for it's money.
So each girl made their selection and I made two. Then we went and looked around upstairs at bridesmaids dresses while we waited for a consultant to become available. This is when I met Michelle a dream consultant. We gathered up the dresses and I explained to her that I had been here before and tried on a dress but that we wanted to be sure it was the one and not just "first dress syndrom". Of course she was aware of this common bridal ailment and was willing to play dress up.
First up was the Jasmine. A dress from the disney princess collection. It was a dress we were all pretty sure would be a no but we had all gone to it at some point and said, "Wow, what a pretty dress." So why not at least put it on before we ruled it out. This dress was 5 sizes too big for me so obviously didn't get it's full potential on me. You can see how much it's swimming on me. When I struck a pose the dress moved away from my body. I'm sure were you to stand close to me you'd have saw straight down to my toes. Regardless, this dress was never going to be the dress for me. Pretty dress but a little too much for me.  I mean just look at it, I look just a tad...HUGE in it :p

 Next up was one of my friends picks. The first words out of my mouth were, "This is a LOT of bling!"  This dress was also way too big for me which was exciting considering I thought it was the right size. Although it definitely fit way better than the first one This one was beautiful and very princess but that's what made it not for me. I am no princess. I am a hippie.
The girls were annoyed that I was not wearing a veil. I explained that I would not be wearing a veil on my wedding day. I would be wearing my hair in two braids that met in the middle and had flowers weaved into them. The girls begged and bothered until I at least tried. I agreed that were I to wear this particular dress I would have to wear a veil. All the more reason it was not the dress for me. I needed something a little more simple.

More simple say you? More simple, that is completely possible. The next selection was way more simple. A beautiful ivory number which I instantly fell in love with! This dress still makes me tear up. For when we set out this time around I requested that not one of us look at a price tag. If the dress was too expensive the consultant might know of one similar for a lesser price. So no tags were touched and thus leaving room for heartbreak later. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I slipped into my next dress. A beautiful simple ivory dress. It had it all. It was beautiful. I turned to the girls and said, "this is the dress!" we all swooned. I then turned to my consultant and said, "And ... how much is this dress?" As you can see by my expression the result was not a good one. This beautiful one of a kind dress that I had just fallen head over heels for was double my budget before tax and alterations. This dress, although a great price as far as dresses go, was out of my league. I remember the feeling of my heart hitting the floor when I thought to myself, "Why did I bother coming in? I knew I couldn't afford a nice dress! I should just go to a second hand store and settle for a once loved dress left over from a divorce." For a moment the little girl inside me was pounding on my chest screaming, "No! You can make it work! Just elope in this dress! You can afford it if you don't book a venue or feed anyone. Maybe instead of a dj you can have people over to your place and blast some music! you can make it work!" but I told her to shut up because it wasn't happening!
So what was I to do?
Try on more dresses of course. While looking for a dress I had spotted the dress that had stayed with me all along. When planning my wedding for years I had this dress saved in my inspiration folder. The style was no longer what I wanted but because it had always been in my folder and there it was in front of me I had to at least give it a try. Who knows, maybe it was meant to be. Well the answer is no. Although it was very cool and fun to try on a dress you'd stared at since you were 16 years old, it just wasn't what I wanted in a dress anymore. It was very cathedral or church wedding in style and I am even more of a hippie than I was then. This was not the dress.
Just when I was about to give up the consultant assessed what I had tried on combined with my personality and what she had heard me say I was looking for. She asked, "What's your budget?" I told her $600 to which she said, "it's my turn to pick one!" She disappeared among the Maggie Sottero which, if you remember from a previous post, was a designer I had already previously stated I loved.

I had found the dress from the bridal magazine and although it looks gorgeous in the magazine and would probably look wonderful on me there was just something missing from it. It had a lot more lace than I had expected in person and kind of lost it's wedding feel, even for me. Still a beautiful dress and had I budgeted for two dresses, one for the wedding and one for the reception I would definitely have bought it for the reception. As it is the dress was out of my budget and not perfect. So I had moved on. Although I remained in love with Maggie Sottero!
The bridal consultant returned and hurried her selected dress into the changing room and ushered me in. I was still staring at the ivory number with tears building up in my heart that I couldn't have the dress I had just been wearing. But trusting her I picked up the dress from the hanger and as I slid into it I saw the different features she had picked up on and my heart warmed. Was it possible? Had she just found ...the dress!
I walked out of the changing room and everyone gasped, "Oh Gena! That's the dress!" I smiled, I fondled it, we examined it head to toe for any reasons why it wasn't the dress and once we were most assured that it was the dress I turned and asked my consultant the dangerous question, "What's the damage?" She was standing back and watching the whole thing. Very casually but with a huge grin coming to her face she proudly said, "$700 but I think we can figure something out." The little girl climbing the walls of my chest stopped what she was doing and squealed with joy along with all the girls around me. We'd done it, together with the help of this wonderful consultant we had found the dress that not only suited everything I wanted but also was within my budget! The girls wanted me to put a veil on and I shook my head, "No veil, no veil for me." they insisted, "you have to have a veil." I looked at my consultant and said, "Well.. there was one veil idea I used to love. Instead of a conservative musquito net on your face I thought if I were to wear a veil it'd be something with color in it. She asked what my wedding colors were again. Reds and pinks. Her face lit up. She left only momentarily and came back with a veil that matched my description perfectly.

I said to the girls, "If I was going to wear a veil it'd be one like this." Knowing that veils can run anywhere from $70-$200 I didn't even want to ask the price. I had already tried on one very simple veil and it was $75! Preparing to take it off the consultant said, "And you can't argue with the price. $5.75!" I squinted, "$575?"
"No, $5 and 75 cents!" My eyes widened, that was amazing. The veil was on clearance to move. I said, "Even if I don't wear it at the wedding I could certainly wear it for the bachelorette or something. $5.75 is a steal for a quality veil!" And so it was decided.
But...I hadn't yet tried on the original selection. Would I be swayed? I had to try it just to make sure. So one last dress it was...and was it the one?
 No doubt about it this was not the dress for me!  As much as it was a nice dress but just not the  dress and there is nothing wrong with that. At least now I knew and I had been wise enough to question my "first dress syndrom" and thank goodness. By going back I got a dress for less than half the price of this one.
Besides the material on this one wasn't very flattering to my new trim figure.
The dress I had selected would be bought off the rack and thus save me $200 dollars of the ticketed price. She was going to have it cleaned before we returned to make our final decision. We assessed the stains and stitches and anything that needed to be cleaned up on it and made notes after notes to ensure it was all decided.

I will be returning with all my girls to see what they think of the dress in person!

So aside from a maybe veil I walked away with nothing today but the possibility of something tomorrow. Going to step aside and wait a few weeks to make sure this is the dress before I buy it. Now to lose another 20lbs.

Day 106 - FOUND IT!

Lately I've been thinking it's time to narrow in on a venue. I've narrowed down some possible suspects and think I should set up some appointments to go downtown and view them in person. I'm so nervous to fall in love with something and not be able to afford it or lose it because I can't foot the deposit for a few more months. But I'm going to have to get past that and start looking.

I'm now down 21 lbs and back into some of my old university pants. I've lost so much weight that my engagement ring keeps falling off. I guess we'll have to hurry and get our wedding set purchased before I lose the ring for good. That's a fearful thought!

Today, though, was productive. My bridesmaid, Jenny, has been insisting I try on wedding dresses for a while now. She has been frothing at the bit trying to get me in there. I don't know what size I am and I don't want to be this size when I buy my dress. But she was so excited so I thought, "well...we cant at least see what store I want to shop at when I buy my dress." so I pulled up two names of local stores and we were off. We foolishly had the girls with us so there was some amount of stress in trying to get things sorted out. Not to mention it was a Saturday and the store was really full! We were given 5 rings and sent on our way. I pushed and browsed and was saddened to see the dresses I could afford were....well there was a reason they were so cheap and on clearance. The dresses that were prettier were $$$$ way off course of my budget. My budget being $600 I knew this was a bad idea. Finally I found one dress that made me smile. It was almost twice my budget though. *Wimper* but we decided I should try it on and see how it looks before I completely rule it out.

It was gorgeous, it is gorgeous. After having searched through all the dresses, even the original dress that I fell in love with I think I found a winner. Now to lose another 20lbs and come back. As for the girls, they did pretty good all things considered. And Jenny's daughter was still running around the store in her dreams as you can see below.

Day 85 - Hippie Bride for sure

Today my bridesmaid, Jenny, and I went in to start up my registry. If I had a registry at this location before a certain date I'd get a set of flutes for free. $15 value. So why not. I was supposed to go in to the other to get a free $25 gift card for their store but we didn't make it in before they were closed. But there is always next year.

While we were talking to the registry representative he looked at me and said, "Flowerchild/hippie?" I opened my eyes and said, "yeah. that's what I'm going for." he said, "I'm getting that vibe from you." I laughed but later said to my friend, "really? how?" It's not like I was standing their in a tunic with daisies in my hair or anything. I was dressed quite conservatively with my long hair pulled into a ponytail. I guess I just scream hippie. Maybe it was different things I was talking about. I don't think I mentioned the environment or animal rights. But there must have been something in my tone that screamed, "I'm a hippie and proud of it!"

Then Jenny and I ran around the store scanning anything and everything that I would want. We treated it like a shopping spree with infinite possibilities. If I was allowed to load a truck up with anything and not have to pay a cent what would I take. I'll take one of these *beep* and two of these *beep* *beep* and if these didn't work out I would just bring them back *beep*.

Day 82 - Photos last longer

Today we had a photoshoot with who will be our wedding photographer. This was to see whether or not we enjoyed his style and talent. Photography, to me, is a subject of which I know I can be a total c*nt. You see, I know some people believe they are photographers just because they have great cameras. I have seen some people take beautiful photos and get lots of praise, but the photo itself has nothing to do with their talent and more to do with their camera. These same people would use a creased bedsheet as a backdrop. This is not terrible, provided you are honest with yourself and your limitations. If you are trying to pass yourself off as a professional photographer and I can see the folds in your bedsheets behind your subjects ... I am not spending hundreds of dollars on a photoshoot with you.
I never had a concern that this would  be the case with Shawn (my photographer) however for me the real test would be, how quick can he capture a moment. I don't want a lot of posed pictures at my wedding. I want a natural candid style photography. When it comes to capturing the emotion and the moment with a photo you have to be right on and focused. Some people have it and some don't. What better way to test this than to have a candid photoshoot of our two daughters (my ring bearer and flowergirl) running around playing. No fancy backdrops, no on site location, just a simple moment when all he had to rely on was his ability to capture the girls with their moms and all the precious moments that happen throughout a day. To add a challenge my ring bearer has days where she is full of the dramatics. This, was one of those days. I swear the moment we stepped out of the car she screamed and hollered the whole time. You couldn't even LOOK at her at some points and she would pitch a fit. Of course this raises the stress factor for most people, including her mom, and so it can make it that much more difficult to work under. But Shawn kept at it and didn't flinch. And although there were probably many a snotty nosed shot there were still many others that caught the moment. Some of the girls playing, some of me with our little diva blowing kisses, others where you could see the tired love in her moms eyes as she held her. When I look at that one photo I can see the expression on her face of, "please...don't you know I love you? Can't you please stop crying? PLEASE!" Many of my daughter and I playing and her swinging from their rocking chair. One of my favorites, however, is one of myself with our little diva. I had sat down on my knees and was speaking to her about how she had to be nice to her mommy. I told her that when she cries all the time it makes her mommy sad. In the photo you can see her looking off to the side, holding her hands in front of her and looking genuinely remorseful for making her mother sad. Not everyone would have captured this moment, it's not a particularly flamboyant moment of sunshine and lolipops and THAT is what I love about it. It's real, it's honest and it's what I want. I didn't tell him to take that photo, he saw a genuine moment and he captured it and that is what I want in a photographer. Sold! 

Day 65 - Bridal Showcase!

The bridal showcase was positively amazing, all the information you could possibly want was right there in front of you. Questions to be asked, cards to be taken and everyone wanted to know when your special day was. It was amazing and I wish there were more every year. ;) Right now I'm still in the early stages of planning so I needed information on everything but in a few months I'll be looking at Cakes, or flowers and I think it'd be more beneficial to have those showcases then. But today I had loads of fun entering my name in draws and gathering bagfuls of information. I had at the ready two of my bridesmaids both also running around in all the excitement filling their bags with so many pamphlets and ideas.

The girls (flower and ring girls) were having almost as much fun as us adult girls. By the end of it they were completely played out! As much fun as they had I think we could have tackled the event even better were they left home with the best man and/or groom-to-be. Next year I believe I will ensure they have someone to watch them and that I have even more bridesmaids there. SO MUCH FUN!
I think the moment that hit me the most was when we were sitting there at the fashion show and the men started coming down the runway to Putting on the Ritz doing their best Fred Astaire impressions although they were marching to Taco's version of the song.

There I was surrounded by some of my best friends, my two favorite little girls and these men all dressed up in their best duds dancing down the aisle like goofballs just as David would and tears welled up. I tried to hide behind my hair. Such a silly bridal tear moment but it just hit me. Everything in my life, every trial and tribulation, every stumble, every fall, it was all leading to this moment when I would be surrounded by my best friends, people who want only the best for me as I plan my wedding with my best friend.
In the end the day was a huge success. I gathered massive amounts of information which I quickly sorted into careful piles that covered my living room floor. We had piles such as, jewelry, fashion, dress, tux, transportation, honeymoon, coupons, business cards, etc. and then they were sorted into my wedding planning book. I have not filtered through them yet simply sorted them into their categories. However, tonight I am armed with post-its and paper to dive right into my book of wedding bliss.

I think this book will help get through those days where I am feeling inspired but can not afford the inspiration until next paycheque. Those days when all I can do is browse through options and write down information and ideas. This book is now my wedding bible and I shall know it verse by verse.

Day 26 - Literature in the making

Today my dear friend Jenny surprised me with a wedding planning book. So excited was I to crack that baby open that I have stayed up WELL into the night writing out the silliest details. Making sure every question that I can answer has been answered.
Let's see, Name of bride? well I think I know that. Name of groom? Oh that one is easy. Date of wedding? Where was the proposal? Who will be the bridesmaids? Done, done and done. Wow, makes you feel so productive even if it is just stuff you already knew.
For all other details that I'm not prepared to commit to in ink I have added paper with jotted ideas. I'm so excited to fill this book with inspiration but I'm not prepared to rip up my bridal magazines.
So for now I'll fill out a paper with a guest list for every event. Three different colors, one for those invites that are mandatory, the people I have to invite whether I like it or not. One color for the bridal party those vip. Lastly one color for those people we'd like to invite but aren't necessary and so might have to be filtered through later. Oh look, I've created a rainbow, a bridal rainbow of chaos! Only I will know why Mary Jo is written in blue while Mary Ellen is in red. Hopefully I can remember tomorrow morning.