Day 603 - Feels like home

With 9 days left until our wedding it's down to those last minute details. The flower baskets, the seating charts, the garter, the boutineers, the wedding favors, the bubbles....the emotions!

A few days ago while in the shower, very suddenly and with no explainable reason I started to bawl. It wasn't happy tears, I was sobbing and confused all at once. Just as quickly as it washed over me it was gone and I was content again. I stepped out of the shower still looking confused. I have shrugged it off as being tired and my body just needing to get emotional for no reason.

The last person I expected to be excited is perhaps more excited than all of us. Our daughter! She has been running into our bed in the mornings squealing, "you're going to get MARRIED! We're going to go to your wedding and you'll have your wedding dress and I'm going to stand and be quiet and watch you get MARRIED!" she bounces up and down with her eyes wide and her hands clapping together and flapping around. Every time she hears a song that has become associated with our wedding in some way she will stop what she's doing to look at us and squeal, 'THAT'S YOUR WEDDING SONG!" or "THAT'S THE SONG FOR YOUR WEDDING!" She has even decided that at our wedding she wants to dance to a song she now calls "our song" with her mommy and daddy. So in addition to having our first dance we are going to follow with our first dance as family with our daughter.

She has watched us practice our dance together and has even insisted that I practice our dance together. This mostly consists of her sticking her arms out and spinning around. But I play along and the day of the wedding I will do the same if that makes her happy.

I asked David the other day how he knows he loves me. He responded that it was just a feeling. I asked, "And what does it feel like?"
"It feels like home." I laughed and began to sing the song for a second before he continued, "a longing, comfort. Feeling safe. Not being able to imagine life without you." He said more and has had variations on the same thing but to be completely frank I must cut this short as my seating chart is quietly waiting for me to complete it and Uncle Jer has taken our excited daughter out for a smoothie. I must take advantage of the toy free floor. :)

<3 9 days <3

<3 your hippie bride

Day 579 - Relaxed

Things have been both rushed and relaxed all at once lately. I feel pressured to ensure everything is ready for "the big day" but at the same time I have been so on top of everything that I feel I needn't worry quite so much.
All that remains is the final payments which are for the hotel we are staying at and a few DIY things. Although I will admit the DIY will stress me out until they are done because it is something I have to make not just earn. For that end money has been a little less stressful.
In 2 more weeks my pay will be no more and we have decided that for the summer we are going to go without an additional pay. This summer will be just us as a newlywed couple. Come September we will approach additional income.
I must finish my seating chart, although I am not sure how to approach it, I must shop for some shoes for this weekends bachelorette and I must get my eyebrows bushwacked! Hair trial run is on Friday and bachelorette is Saturday. It is going to be so much fun I can already see!

My wii told me I lost 6 lbs this morning. I weighed in 3 times because I thought it couldn't be. I am still convinced that the batteries must be dieing. I shall recharge them and convince myself that is it. 6 lbs in one day is INSANE and entirely unhealthy! I would expect to gain it all back by tomorrow morning of course. Or at the very least half of it. Although, I'd be lieing if I didn't say I thought it would be cool to keep it off as it puts me 2.2 lbs away from my goal. The goal I had originally been 1 lb away from last summer. Although I have not gained an inch I did gain 10 lbs over the year. I worry that my losing it lately is all muscle loss since I have been out of training from the marathon. As per an earlier post I do not trust simply one method of measurement and resort to the photo of me while I was pregnant. I have a photo of me at the exact same weight pregnant as I was in the other photo not pregnant and I feel it best represents how you can't simply trust your mass as an indicator of your health and fitness.

In the above photo you will see the 5 month pregnant me on the left and on the right me at the exact same weight as I was at 5 months pregnant. May this forever be a reminder for me to trust the measuring tape more than the scale.

Regardless, it'd be cool to reach that goal if even only for a day. Then I'll start doing squats again and building up those muscles and thus mass. :)

In unrelated news, we watched our next movie in the string of wedding movie countdown. It was Lucky 7 a sweet movie that had me tearing up at the beginning and the end! I feel for a made for TV movie it was AMAZING and for a movie in general it was great! A predictable but adorable story with this underlying story about a relationship with your mother that can tear at your heartstrings. As a mother I looked over at my partner in crime and promised to never leave him alone to raise our daughter. I feel I shall keep this movie as I thought it was worth a rewatch some time in the future.

33 days left

<3 your productive hippie bride

Day 576 - Bottom done gone falled out!

As that number of days until our wedding gets smaller and smaller so does my brain! You hand me something, I'll lose it within a minute and where we find it will make very little sense. Our best man got to witness this foolishness first hand this weekend when he handed me his iphone for a moment. I was sitting on the sofa with it and stood up, I remembered specifically putting it on the coffee table and then going to the bathroom to help him with my daughter.
In the bathroom I used both hands to open the cupboard looking for a thermometer to take her temperature. Because of this when we later went looking for the iphone we knew it couldn't have been in my hands when I left the living room. We looked everywhere, even my bedroom. I had gotten up and went straight to the bathroom, he was here... he can verify that when we found it on my computer desk behind the dining room table his reaction was, "when were you over here?!" and my answer was, "I wasn't!!!" I swear, I have gremlins running around my house right now, that's my only explanation to where things are turning up lately.

I have tried to keep myself completely distracted and our kitchen counters have never seen this much attention. Between our abstaining and my flighty mind I have all this pent up energy to use and I have been bleaching the crazy out of my counters, stove, walls, you name it. That's not to say the house doesn't have the usual amount of chaos but it's super sanitized where it's clean and neat. I just keep looking at that number of days remaining and feeling as though I have just enough time to finish all necessary wedding tasks and that if I waste a single moment I will have to forgo something :(
This worries me so much that I use my distractions as best I can.

However, when the day comes to an end and I sit down to say goodnight to the world I always come back to that same beautiful fact. In 5 weeks I will marry (yes I'm saying it again) my best friend!

Years ago we made a video to tell the story of how we ended up together and now here we are taking that next big leap. I laugh sometimes when I think of how much life has changed in the past few years. I laugh and say, "Had someone told us we'd end up here 8 years ago....we'd have rolled our eyes."
Anyway, the video of our story has always been a pretty good summation of our union and to this day the blooper reel makes me snicker. We had so much fun making the video even though it took far longer than we expected and two different days. Now I make videos in a very different way and am currently completing our wedding video for the day of the wedding. Fun times. I can not wait to walk down the aisle towards David. To see him for the first time that day and then of course take out some of this pent up...erm... I'll end this entry here ;)

<3 your ..um... forgetful...um...what is it... oh yeah, hippie bride! 

Day 574 - Final details

Today was the day we confirmed our meal selection, went through some final details and picked up my wedding dress. If I could describe my feelings today as one feeling I would. However, my feelings are really just a cluster of random extreme feelings. Fear, excitement, butterflies, love... is love a feeling?

With the venue appointment I was so full at the end it was unbelievable. It was nice to sit down with our co-ordinator and put those final layout descriptions on paper. I now know where I'm going to put specific things as well as where I will be coming in during the ceremony and even discussed a room divider to add something to the room. The way the room is I will be coming into the room, turning left then right then right again at which point I will be facing David.

Because of this I thought the room divider would remove the visual part of the left turn and as a result I'd just be walking across the back of the room and then up the centre.

After filling up on food and details plus paying off the remaining balance of the venue it was off to pick up our wedding dress. First we had to drop the groom and children off at home so there'd be no worries about loading the dress in the car nor risk David seeing it. As I put it on I was nervous and excited all at once. I love how it fits me since I've lost all the baby weight, I am worried about how the bouquet may hide me as it's big and I'm small. I'm worried about the fact that it's not a sweetheart neckline and so I may look smaller than usual. I'm worried about armpit fat. I'm just worried about so many things but mostly just excited to be marrying my best friend.

Lately I have been listening to loving music a lot just to envision the day. I have even changed my ringtone to what my daughter refers to as, "your dress song mommy!" she of course is referring to the video I have of me saying, "Yes to the dress" where the song played in the background.

At the venue today while trying to envision the layout and deciding on where aspects would go, where the aisle would be, where the groom would be. We had David stand at the end of the aisle and I walked down towards him. It was the closest to "real" we've had so far. Makes me that much more excited for the next 38 days to go by.

<3 your organized hippie bride. 

Day 569 - Movie Days

For the past few days David and I have debated over whether we have watched Three Men and a Little Lady so today I got up before David and skimmed through it. Right up until 30 minutes in I was sure I had never seen it. At 30 minutes in it hit me like your life supposedly flashes in front of your eyes. I knew how the movie ended. Not just how it ended in a prediction kind of way, but the last 20 minutes of the movie were clear in my mind. I spent the next 10 minutes skimming through the rest of the movie. Skipping ahead 5 minutes at a time to fill in the void that should have been the movie in my subconscious. Turns out that the ending is the only memorable part of the movie. The original was definitely far better than the sequel. Guess that is what it means for a movie to suffer a severe case of sequelitis.

Tonight's movie was to be Only You a movie in which the lead actress was told by both a Ouiji board and a fortune teller that she would marry a Damon Bradley as a child. Later, shortly after she is engaged to marry a man of a different name she receives a phone call from a former classmate of her husband who regrets he can not attend. What is his name? Damon Bradley. Of course she flies off in hot persuit of this Mr. Bradley and chaos ensues. It sounds interesting in a "meant to be" kind of way however even as I sit here watching Bonnie Hunt (or as I remember her from childhood Alice Newton from Beethoven) help search for Damon Bradley I can't help but think I have seen this movie before too.

David, in the meantime, has ventured off to play video games leaving me to tidy up while watching Only You convinced this is another movie that has left my mind with only patches. It looks like tonights movie will end up being In & Out afterall.

This wedding movie countdown turned out to be a good idea, as much as it's not uber romantic and even sometimes gory, as last nights Very Bad Things would prove. It still has gotten my mind off just how close the wedding is coming. With the exception of our hotel we have paid off all our wedding with only $104 left to pay. This is a reason to celebrate if you ask me! The additional good news is that we managed to pull this off *knock on wood* for just $5000, our original budget. We went over by a few hundred but all things considered I call that a win.

Now to finish folding the laundry while watching a movie I'm sure I've seen before. *sigh* I wonder if it was and will be again a moderately good movie.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 560 - RSVP

Today is the first of June which means the time to RSVP has passed. We actually had almost all the RSVP's in. The open dance invites were left with 21 who have not RSVP'd however 8 of those RSVP'd verbally and 1 of those expressed to me yesterday that she would not know until she heard back when her surgery was. There is obvious leniency with the open dance as the restrictions are far less. Still, it's nice to know your numbers by a date with some distance to the wedding.

I hope to see no more drama around this guest list but I am not going to count my chicks before they are hatched. For now I am just going to look forward to the next part, solidifying the vegetarian custom menu, verifying the numbers with the venue, rehearsing our coreographed dance, our stag parties and then marrying my best friend. 52 days to go. :)

<3 your hippie bride 

Day 529 - Calm waters

It's amazing, a few weeks ago I was stressing about all those extra details and now here I am waking up each morning just excited to be getting married in 2 months. It's hard to believe that in 83 days I will marry my best friend. Have I said that too much lately? It's starting to sound redundant over here but as redundant as it may sound it feels new each morning.

There are still a few things that pop up to stress me but for the most part it is simply other people's roles now that I am dealing with. Speakers, speeches, readings, vows... just a lot of words put together and of course our first dance as husband and wife.

We met with the Justice of the Peace yesterday to arrange the order of the ceremony, readings and vows. Having that sorted out now I am focused on writing my thank you speech for the bridal party and those close to us.

We have solved the extra guests problem and don't have to worry about turning people away at the door. A great sigh of relief for all.

• 19 days left until I run the marathon
• 22 days left until my bridal shower
• 25 days left until my first dress fitting
• 26 days left until I protest Prop 8 with my daughter
• 29 days left until my daughter's 3rd birthday 

So many things I have to accomplish in the next few weeks it's a little overwhelming. You'd think I'd be at my wits end. Instead, I'm living in the now. I know, looking ahead, that in 2 weeks I AM going to be stressed, tired and overwhelmed....probably easy to weep. But I feel that there is nothing I can do to spread those days further apart and so I will instead take a deep breath and enjoy the now. Focusing mainly on training for that marathon. Train, train train! In the next week I will be running 5km every second day on a flat stretch. The next week I will start running that 5km up a hill every second day. The final 5 days I will spread out getting only 2 days in. The focus then will be on sleep since the marathon will be early in the morning.

The bridal shower I don't have to stress too much about personally. I simply have to be able to walk after the marathon.

The dress fitting should take care of itself, with all that running I should be in prime shape....here's the hope.

The protest will be a pretty simple activity too, simply remembering to get there on time and with the beast in good spirits.

Lastly her birthday, perhaps the only part I have to prepare for. I am hoping for good weather so we can have it at the playground this year. This will reduce the amount of preparing within my home. I have a small dwelling and if there are any more than 5 adults here it gets very crowded very fast.
Having it at the playground will require some transportation planning on our part and getting the cake there etc. But I feel that will be much better than trying to make room in our own little itty bitty apartment.

Frustratingly we are still waiting for some RSVP's but considering how many are left it's not too bad in the grand scheme of things. Only 9.5% have not RSVP'd and 2 of those told us they were going...they just haven't carved it in stone yet.

I guess I should get back to some DIY projects with this 2 week break I have. But first.... some meditation while I still can.

<3 your peaceful hippie bride

Day 518 - The curse of the guest

Today I am starting to wonder if my guest list is a curse to my guests' plus ones.

Let me explain. Our guest list has been so extremely shrunk over the months and for the most part our guests don't have plus ones. Some of these guests did as they were dating them for a while and/or living with them.

As the guests rsvp'd it became apparent that with the online RSVP I needed to give the plus ones their own RSVP ID because some guests's plus ones desired a different meal than the guest. I had told the guests I would rectify this in time. Since then, each time I add a plus one by name to the guest list ..... they break up!!!

This has happened half a dozen times now! Each time it goes like this:

Me - "Hey, can I have your boyfriend/girlfriend's name so I can give them their own ID."
Guest - "yeah sure it's Sally/Sam"

Me *insert name on guestlist*

~ 2 weeks pass ~

Guest - "So...um... you might as well take Sally/Sam off the guest list. We...well... we're no longer together."
Me - "what?! Are you serious?! I'm so sorry."

I would leave the plus one on the guest list for a few weeks and when I was certain the time had passed for reconsilliation I removed them.

I know people break up and life goes on. It's just tripping me out that my guests keep breaking up within weeks of having been added to my guest list. I'm relatively scared to add any other official names. I think they will remain plus one and any other alternate meals will just have to be run through us privately.

In wedding related news, picked up our marriage license today! Now to book an appointment with the Justice of the Peace.
I also found out I can't change my name for 3 weeks after I'm married. What's up with that?!

That's all from me, don't break up <3 your hippie bride

Day 511 - HOLY MOLY!

This week I've hunkered down hard on the wedding to do list. I finished paying for David's ring today, I bought my wedding dress lingerie yesterday, I've been finishing up my DIY list and sent out the last of the invites. I am also tieing down all those extra details that aren't physical.

As I did all this I realized today marks 101 days before our wedding meaning that this Sunday we hit the double digits! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I don't even know how I feel about that!

<3 your overwhelmed hippie bride

Day 502 - Productive!

I love when my maid of honor is around. I seem to get right into wedding mode when she is around. I think mostly because she typically is focused on it. Today I checked off so many things on my wedding list. They may seem small and trivial but at this point there are just a lot of trivial things left.

Bought the girls headdresses, designed the open dance invitations, bought lingerie for the honeymoon, bought another bouquet holder for the bridesmaids so I could finish another bouquet! Oh and made a payment on hubby-to-be's wedding band. :) All-in-all super awesomely productive day.

Now to lose these last 10 lbs...off for a night jog.

Only 110 days left!!!!!!!

<3 your excited hippie bride!!! 

Day 496 - Kuch To Hua Hai (Something Has Happened) (edit)

Here we are, day 496! WOW! What does that mean for planning? It means I have 116 days left until my wedding! As I sit here in my intensly organized jumble of wedding plans I can't help but think, "WOW!" That's pretty much all I think now.

In the past 496 days I have

1. Announced our engagement. 
2. Selected a wedding date
3. Determined a budget
4. Stuck to the budget 
5. Selected wedding rings.
6. Paid for our wedding rings
7. Decided on a guest list
8. Researched venues.
9. Fell in love with a venue
10. Adjusted our guest list so we could afford the venue
11. Had several mental breakdowns over the guest list
12. Discovered most venues require a minimum revenue.
13. Had hellish nightmares of unplanned weddings
14. Found a venue
15. Booked and paid for the venue
16. Gathered inspirational images to help in the planning
17. Decided on colors
18. Acquired a wedding planning book
19. Stocked up my wedding planning book 
20. Selected my bridal party
21. Had David select his bridal party
22. Stewed over who would be the maid of honor
23. Attended 3 bridal showcases with my friends and bridal party
24. Created a wedding website
25. Had our engagement photos taken
26. Sent out save the date wedding videos
27. Researched wedding dresses
28. Interviewed videographers
29. Deliberated over videographers
30. Finally settled on our videographer and sent our deposit! 
31. Decided on a baker and sent a deposit
32. Selected our DJ and sent our deposit.
33. Created a gift registry
34. Researched hotels
35. Viewed 9 different hotels before picking our honeymoon destination.
36. Decided on DIY Decor
37. Hosted an engagement party
38. Bought wedding dress
39. Designed invitations
40. Handcrafted invitations
41. Mailed out invitations 
42. Created a seating plan. 
43. Updated my expired license
44. Lost those last 33 lbs ;p (comparison entry -> here <- )
45. Logged in everyday to excitedly count the RSVPs as they came in. :) 
46. Got the girls together and decided on the bridesmaids dresses. 
47. Found a dress for the flower girl and ring bearer 
48. Booked the rehearsal day with the venue. 
49. Booked hairstylist & Make-up artist
50. Sent my day important dates to Jenny
51. Found a necklace and earrings for my wedding dress
52. Scheduled wedding gown fitting number 1
53. Began DIY on wedding flowers.
54. Selected ceremony music
55. Worked out a menu with the caterer
56. Decided on centerpieces
57. Began DIY of centerpieces
58. Selected speakers and readings for ceremony.
59. Priced liquor
60. Choreographed and practised first dance. 
61. Made parking arrangements for guests.
62. Provided Jenny with a guest list for shower and bachelorette
63. Discussed photos with photographer.
64. Created a playlist for the ceremony prelude etc.
65. Had my wedding ring sized

and all that remains is

1. Acquire lingerie
2. Decide on a menu with the caterer
3. Finish DIY projects like decorations, favours
4. Make appointment with hairstylist
5. Order wedding cake
6. Work out traffic and parking issues (make a map for guests)
7. Arrange rehearsal dinner 
8. Final ring payment
9. Final payment to DJ
10. Get the marriage license
12. DIY Wedding Bouquets
13. DIY Headdresses for girls
14. Final payment for Venue 
15. Finalize ceremony with officiant
16. Select a gift for groom
17. Seating Place Cards (DIY)
18. DIY Table Number Cards
19. Select gifts for wedding party
20. DIY Seating chart
21. DIY  guest book
22. Acquire hair accessories
23. Hair and makeup trial run
24. First Fitting
25. Order reception favours if DIY incomplete
26. Pick out something old, new, borrowed and blue
27. Pick up wedding David's ring
28. Buy Flower Basket for beast
29. Do name change paperwork, licence, banks, etc.
30. Tuxedo rentals & fittings for groom & groomsmen 
31. David has to write his vows
32. Final gown, headpiece, etc. fitting 
33. Arrange for someone to run errands for me on the day of 
34. Call invited guests who have not yet responded and beat the tar out of them
35. Attend bachelorette party
36. Confirm transportation plans
37. Confirm rehearsal plans
38. Have final facial (eyebrow waxing lol) 
39. Finalize count for rehearsal dinner
40. Review duties with wedding participants 
41. Review seating details with ushers 
42. Assemble a bridal emergency kit (include spritz bottle for static hair) 
43. Last-minute details with all service providers
44. Discuss strategy with photographer
45. Label envelopes with fees for officiant, dj, etc. (IF necessary, I plan to have all paid by June 21st)
46. Send gift thank-you cards Track gifts
47. Groom & groomsmen get haircuts
48. Give gifts to wedding party
49. Finalize reception count with caterer
50. Attend wedding rehearsal and dinner
51. Get a manicure/pedicure (David included :p )
52. Pick up rental wedding attire
53. Pack for wedding night and honeymoon
54. Give wedding rings to best man & maid of honor
55. Pay balance due to service providers (hopefully by June 21 giving me a stress free last month)
56. Have hair done
57. Sign and witness marriage license and run away screaming "IT'S OVER IT'S DONE!" 

So yes...wow! 

Day 488 - Dressed their best

OH MY GOODNESS! The crazy junk around getting flowergirl dresses.
After going through several stores to take advantage of the BOGO 1/2 off deal on the dresses only to find that 1 store had 1 dress and another store claimed to have 1 dress but never had ever seen that style of dress. The clerk argued with me regarding this to which I whipped out my ipod and showed her a picture. At that point she confessed that the dress she was holding was not the dress I was seeking.

I avoid pulling the bridezilla card but when I have told a clerk 3 times that the dress she is holding is not the dress I'm looking for....they need to believe me....I am the bride and the customer!

We gave up on Zellers (well I've given up on Zellers years ago) and returned to Sears where it had the dress in the right size and although it didn't have the BOGO 1/2 off sale it did have a % discount that made it so we only lost out on $10 that we could have saved through Zellers. Worth it to not shop at Zellers if you ask me. ;)

One less thing to worry about. That checklist is getting smaller as time goes on.

<3 your dutiful hippie bride

Day 250 - Bridal showcases to come

As I narrow my checklist down even further I think back to my bridal showcase of last year and wish they had more throughout the year! I feel a bridal showcase would be quite useful as I'm struggling to narrow in on particular aspects.

Since they don't have them more often I figured I'd instead set up a facebook event and invite all who wanted to attend the bridal showcase this Jan. :)

<3 your hippie bride

Day 249 - Check...check

Checklist again:

• Man to marry - check
• Wedding date - Check
• Budget - Check
• Dress - Check
• Venue - Check
• Rings - Check
• Guest List - Check
• Invitations - Check
• Bridal Party - Check
• Photographer - Check
• Vows - Check
• DJ - Check
• Videographer - checkkkkiiisssh? 
• Money - um.... what's that? 

I really must hurry and decide on a videographer. I know I'm being insanely picky but it's important to me! 

<3 your productive hippie bride