Showing posts with label guests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guests. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day 536 - Musical Chairs

I don't know that you would classify last nights dream as a nightmare or just a restless nights.

You ever have one of those nights where you dream you are studying, cleaning or doing homework all night and wake up feeling as though that is what you did all night instead of sleeping? Well that's what last night was.

There have been some guest list changes, as indicated by my posts over the past few days. With these changes some rearranging must be done for optimum enjoyment. Betty Sue can't sit anywhere near Cousin Sam because he once walked in on her in the shower. *AWKWARD* but Cousin Sam would want to sit near Alfred who is best friends and has flirtations with Betty Sue. Playing the seating arrangement game is similar to Tetris. You are not only trying to place them in the perfect fit but every now and then you have that awkward z shaped guest who only fits in 2 or 3 ideal locations without fudging up the works.

With some guests unable to come now and extra guests having been invited, it's time to play musical chairs. I wasn't too worried about it, thus it not being a nightmare, but it is high on my to-do list and apparently my brain has been processing it.

What amused me most about last nights dream was the combination of seating chart, reserved seats in the front with the possibility of that one surprise guest and the extra guests people keep inviting. This is how it went down.

I had the grooms men at the front with fancy clipboards DIY'd to be pretty and bridal. They would ask the guest for their name, check the list and if they were to sit in a reserved seat then one of the groomsmen without a clipboard would usher them to their seat. If they were simply one side of the room or the other they ushered them to that side of the room and the guest chose their own seat. If they were not on the list it was very high security. "I'm afraid I do not see you here on the list. Are you sure you wouldn't be under another name?" then they would put their finger to their ear and turn their head away from the guest like a presidential security squad and say, "Let me check with our bride. Yes, Gena, we have a Frankie Smith here but I do not see him on the --- uh huh, okay. That's what I thought." turn back to the guest and say, "No I'm sorry sir, you were not invited to this wedding." "But betty sue brought me!" "well I'm afraid Betty Sue has done you an injustice. If you wish here is a map of locations in the city where you can visit for the next 4 hours before the open dance."

Finally the extra special evil guest who not only is not invited but whom we have a peace bond against and has been instructed on several occasions in a formal manner to cease all communication with us. She showed in a video game style episode. It became an arial view of the ceremony location and her weapons showed above her head to let us know that she came armed with a pitchfork, knife and blowtorch. She first began by setting the headtable on fire, immediately put out by the best man as she swung around and lit 4 other tables on fire. Two groomsmen and the groom himself jumped her while the best man began putting out those tables. Meanwhile the Maid of honor were calling the police and they eventually showed to drag her away. It's funny in a sad way that I have had a similar dream about this guest going way back to my childhood. She was such a horrid person my entire life that I used to have dreams of her ruining my wedding back before I had ever been kissed. She would throw wine at me and I always ended up punching her in the face. The biggest change as years have gone by is that she is actually not allowed near me now and I have a group of security officials (tee hee) who will ensure that it does not happen.

Although I have been sent e-mails to tell me that she plans to attend with or without an invite, I am ensuring that does not happen. Perhaps I will start talking about my wedding location and time in detail to throw her off the scent. She won't know whether the location I speak of is the actual location or if I'm tricking her.

By the end of the dream we were trying to make room for guests in our tiny apartment. As we mushed furniture against the wall and rearranged our whopping 6 chairs I said, "wait....we booked a venue to take care of this for us!" and that's when I woke up thinking, "this is so incredibly foolish that it must be a dream.

The end result is me sitting down with my bridal bible and revamping my seating chart. I feel I should turn it into a digital copy so changes can be quicker if necessary. Maybe I will ax my pretty diy seating chart since changes keep being made.

<3 your hippie bride


Monday, May 7, 2012

Day 535 - Guest lists are for wussies

When I started the "engaged" chapter of my life I received many congrats and even more advice. The one piece of advice I received the most is the one piece of advice I scoffed at the most. Here are some statements I heard about guest lists over the past 535 days:

"Oh the guest list! What a pain! Try not to put too much of your heart into it because most people won't appreciate your consideration in the end."  
"About 90% will RSVP attending and about 60% of those will actually show up. What a waste of your money! I wish you luck." 
"My guest list caused me so much trouble I wish I had just eloped.
"I don't regret my wedding or having gone through with it. I do wish I had had a potluck wedding and just put it out there that whoever the hell wanted to show could show. But I'm sure that would have pissed someone off too. You can't win with the guest list so don't try."
"Guest list? I threw out some names and hoped for the best. I ended up having mostly people neither me nor my husband knew there. I'd say of our guest list 30% were people we had invited and the rest were friends that those guests had invited without telling us!
"Oh what a headache! If you ever need proof that you can't please everyone you'd find it in the guest list at a wedding. In fact I am pretty sure you can displease most with a guest list. Everyone feels entitled or overlooked no matter what you do. Just don't expect anyone to show and thank everyone that does come, whether you invited them or not.
"Guest lists and seating charts. They still haunt me and we've been married for 10 years now! I remember paying close attention to where I sat everyone because both our families were in year long fights. After all my painful efforts to ensure everyone got a seat next to someone they cared about it was horrible. People showed that we had not invited, the people who were to sit between those who hated each other ... they didn't show. And what's worse is that people stood around at the seating chart fighting rather than taking their seats away from each other. If I could do it over again I'd have just a simple ceremony, blow everyone a kiss and hop in a limo headed for the airport!

I never listened. I always said, "oh no... that won't happen to me. I'm going to make sure." I convinced myself that these brides just weren't as organized as me. I convinced myself that they had gone in with extra assumptions or hadn't stood firm on their desires for their wedding day. In some cases I may have been right. But when I offer advice for the next bride to be it's going to be this, "The moment you begin your guest list make sure you have a prescription for Valium because every time that phone rings you are going to look at the caller id in fear that it is his family or yours calling to tell you how you did them wrong, how you failed them, how they are far more important than anyone else on your guest list."

Perhaps the most surprising part for me is just how entitled a lot of guests can get. They all have some reason why they feel they are more important than anyone else on your guest list and because of that they should be allowed to:
RSVP at the last minute, invite 3 extra guests without telling you, change their mind 3 or 4 times, call you at midnight to insist you should have some other meal options or better yet tell you, "I know that you are offering fish or vegetarian but we've been friends for years, so I know you won't mind making mine a juicy steak!"
Yes... they are serious, they believe that above all others they are the most important person at your wedding. Maybe even more important than you!

The good news is this, I also heard plenty of drama stories about bridal parties being nasty and all about themselves. I have to say that although a handful of guests have made the whole experience interesting my bridal party have been strong and true through the entire 535 days and then some.

Better yet they each have their roles in keeping me from sending anthrax out with some extra invites to more snotty guests. I have to say I have the perfect balance of nice and firm with my bridal party.

Maid of honor - She's the super sweet one when it comes to family. Whenever a guest is a family member she is there to keep me soft when I need to be soft and feel like throwing daggers. But she is also willing to nod when the family member is being crazy and say, "nope, you are allowed to throw daggers at that one. Ax that invite!"

Bridesmaids - I have one bridesmaid who is family and she is the one who knows without any backstory what I grew up with. Therefore when I have a dilema that needs immediate advise without taking the time to explain a backstory it would be her I call. My other Bridesmaid has already been a bride and knows a bit about the planning fun and the wedding drama. Through her I channel my etiquette concerns through her and ask what she did in certain situations.

Best Man - He's not just David's best man he's both of our best man! Aside from David he's the only man that's been around since the beginning and still is. He's been around more than my own family (which isn't saying much but still) he's the one I call when I am frusterated with David and need an ear I know won't hold it against David. He's also the one I call when I need the opposite reaction from my Maid of Honor. My Maid of Honor is the softy with family and sometimes you need someone who is tough. He is less likely to soften for just anyone and so I know when he does that maybe I should loosen up on them a little bit.

As per my posts from the past, if it weren't for my bridal party I think there would be a few shallow graves or at the very least the guest list would be a fraction of what it is. I don't regret any of this, I just wish some of my guests would stop and realize this wedding is about us and that's not them! I guess my advice would not be for a future bride-to-be but instead to her guests. My advice is:

Dear Guest,
When you feel looked over, second-fiddle or unappreciated stop and ask yourself: "How big is her guest list? How many people is she trying to please right now?" And when you find yourself feeling upset that you have to spend $200 on a hotel just to go to her wedding and you feel she should pay for your accommodations or give you a steak instead of a haddock, ask yourself: "How much money did she put into this wedding so everyone could have a good time? Can I afford to go? Should I send a nice present instead of going and talk to her personally so she knows it's nothing personal but that I can't afford $200 plus travelling cost?" If you find yourself thinking, "they won't mind if I bring my best friend. After all I am their cousin/friend of 6 years/father/mother/sister/brother/uncle/aunt/ex-boyfriend and/or I am travelling a long distance to attend their wedding." perhaps you should ask yourself, "How many of their guests have they been friends with for a long time? How many of their guests are traveling a long distance? How many of their friends are family of some way or another? If all of us feel the same entitlement to bring uninvited guests how many uninvited guests will be at their wedding?"

As a bride-to-be all we ask is for a little patience, understanding and respect. Be patient if we don't get to you right away when you send us a message about our wedding. Understand that we can't give everyone everything they want and respect that in some cases we don't give everyone everything they want because it's not what we want for our wedding! Give us this and we will do our very best to do the same at your wedding if you invite us. We are sorry if your haddock is too dry on the wedding day, we didn't cook it, but we did pay for it so you could have something to eat. We are sorry you prefer red wine and we ordered white. We don't like wine at all but ordered something we thought our guests might enjoy or be grateful for. We are sorry we didn't get to give you a one-on-one dance, there was only time for 40 dances and we had 80 guests. Please, before you get upset, ask yourself if you are being singled out or if in fact you are expecting a tad too much from one person.


Thank you so much in advance,

<3 your hippie bride...she is trying.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Day 527 - Spoke too soon...

Alas, the nightmares have not disappeared. As we are finding these uninvited guests on our list we face a new dilemma. We have some guests who have not RSVP'd yet and as such we are not sure if we have room for these extra people our guests have sprung on us! With that...a new nightmare.

Last night I had a dream/nightmare that we were (or at least I was) at some sort of self-help-group for brides-to-be. It was much like the setting we had for our birthing class of years past. A group of people in similar situations as you all discussing their plans and complications. Each would go around the table as on the first day of a class like this and introduce themselves and state how long before their wedding.

In birthing class it went like this, "Hi, my name is ____ and this is my spouse _____ and we are ________ months/weeks pregnant with our 1st/2nd/3rd/8th child. We are having a girl/boy/baby of undetermined gender."

In this class it went like this, "Hi, my name is ______ and I am marrying my spouse in ________ days/weeks/months/years."

My introduction was, "Hi, my name is Gena and I am excited to be marrying my best friend in 1 day and 1 hour." I said it so casually like I had all the time in the world and then it's like the person in the dream realized at that moment that it was a shockingly short amount of time and why the hell are they here when they should be getting ready for tomorrow! My me in the dream said, "HOLY SHIT! I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!" I rushed out of the room to find David because we still had to deal with the unexpected guests and those who were not determined whether they were coming yet! I sat at the computer with my veil on and sent a mass message to all the "undecided" guests saying in much more formal terms, "You, poopy heads...tomorrow is our wedding...are you coming or what?!" I didn't click send because as I was typing my MOH came in with her dress on and was panicked that I was not in my wedding dress yet. Evidentlly it had taken me a day to get home from the self-help-class and we needed to hurry to the venue.
At the venue it was total chaos. Guests had brought friends who of course were not on our seating chart. No one knew what the fudge was going on and not only were the "undecided" there but they too had brought extra uninvited urchin to the event. Our slim guest list was now an overweight 200 guests and we were not able to have our wedding on time. Instead David and I had to hide in other rooms (so as not to see each other) while the bridal party flipped through the guest list like elementary school, "Is uncle bob here!" "HERE" "okay... you go with the Best Man, he will see you to your seat. How about Cousin Sally?" "present" It was terrible. And those not on the guest list had to sit outside in their best suits and wait until 8pm that night when they might be able to squeeze into our open dance. Which of course we have room for a few more there.

I woke and shook my head, "clearly I need to deal with this problem head on."

I am still not sure how to approach this...what is a nice way to tell someone, "hey...we didn't invite that person. I'm sorry you felt the need to do so without first asking us...however, if you wish to have them come to the open dance there is still room there. Maybe they can chill at the mall for 4 hours while they wait for the open dance. Next time....consider our guest list before you rewrite it."

<3 your sleep deprived hippie bride

Friday, April 27, 2012

Day 525 - Wedding crashers...

What is so complicated about an RSVP that people do not understand? Lending back to the beginning or at least the early part of our engagement I was asked, "Do I really have to RSVP? You know I'm coming." To which I gave a resounding, "YES...YES YOU DO!" Sure I may figure you are coming, I also figure most of the people I invite are coming. So, yes! Yes you absolutely need to RSVP.

I suppose I could have said, "Do I need to send you an invitation? You already know I want you there!" *facepalm*

But now we face a new problem. All along people who were not given a guest would ask if we would mind if they brought this guy/girl they just met the other night. Because of space we could not offer a guest to each of our guests. Had we done that we'd have only been able to have half the guests we invited. We'd have basically had to decide whether we wanted our friends there or our family. Our answer to these requests were for them to check back with us in April of 2012 after all the RSVP's were in. If there were any who RSVP'd with "not attending" then we'd clearly have room for an extra person or two at that point. These people were more than happy to oblige and as indicated in my previous post... by April.... they were broken up with that guy/girl and the extra space was not necessary.

We are fast approaching May now and still a few stragglers have not RSVP'd, this we expected, anticipated and are prepared to chase down those meal selections. What we were less prepared for were the guests who did not ask if they could bring a guest but we have now found out planned to bring one anyway. I don't understand how they planned on that working out. If you have an RSVP and it does not imply a guest then you have just invited your best friend since childhood to attend a wedding with you and they will not have a seat or a meal. What's worse is it's not the people in question who have told us, it's mutual friends who say, "Oh I didn't know you invited Sally Sue." and we squint and say, "who?"

Now we must sit over our guest list and thumb through to see how many other wedding crashers we should be prepared for! Not what we signed up for. As it is we are over quota right now by 3 people and that's before these uninvited guests are tallied in. I don't want to have to beg my Venue co-ordinator to make an exception for guests I didn't even invite! How embarrassing, it makes me look so unorganized when in reality I have kept on top of my numbers the whole time. It's my guests who haven't.


*sigh* oh the politics of weddings. I believe I have officially entered the realm of, "I can't wait to get this over with!"

<3 your flustered hippie bride

Friday, April 20, 2012

Day 518 - The curse of the guest

Today I am starting to wonder if my guest list is a curse to my guests' plus ones.

Let me explain. Our guest list has been so extremely shrunk over the months and for the most part our guests don't have plus ones. Some of these guests did as they were dating them for a while and/or living with them.

As the guests rsvp'd it became apparent that with the online RSVP I needed to give the plus ones their own RSVP ID because some guests's plus ones desired a different meal than the guest. I had told the guests I would rectify this in time. Since then, each time I add a plus one by name to the guest list ..... they break up!!!

This has happened half a dozen times now! Each time it goes like this:

Me - "Hey, can I have your boyfriend/girlfriend's name so I can give them their own ID."
Guest - "yeah sure it's Sally/Sam"

Me *insert name on guestlist*

~ 2 weeks pass ~

Guest - "So...um... you might as well take Sally/Sam off the guest list. We...well... we're no longer together."
Me - "what?! Are you serious?! I'm so sorry."

I would leave the plus one on the guest list for a few weeks and when I was certain the time had passed for reconsilliation I removed them.

I know people break up and life goes on. It's just tripping me out that my guests keep breaking up within weeks of having been added to my guest list. I'm relatively scared to add any other official names. I think they will remain plus one and any other alternate meals will just have to be run through us privately.

In wedding related news, picked up our marriage license today! Now to book an appointment with the Justice of the Peace.
I also found out I can't change my name for 3 weeks after I'm married. What's up with that?!

That's all from me, don't break up <3 your hippie bride

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day 496 - Kuch To Hua Hai (Something Has Happened) (edit)

Here we are, day 496! WOW! What does that mean for planning? It means I have 116 days left until my wedding! As I sit here in my intensly organized jumble of wedding plans I can't help but think, "WOW!" That's pretty much all I think now.

In the past 496 days I have

  1. Announced our engagement. 
  2. Selected a wedding date
  3. Determined a budget
  4. Stuck to the budget 
  5. Selected wedding rings.
  6. Paid for our wedding rings
  7. Decided on a guest list
  8. Researched venues.
  9. Fell in love with a venue
  10. Adjusted our guest list so we could afford the venue
  11. Had several mental breakdowns over the guest list
  12. Discovered most venues require a minimum revenue.
  13. Had hellish nightmares of unplanned weddings
  14. Found a venue
  15. Booked and paid for the venue
  16. Gathered inspirational images to help in the planning
  17. Decided on colors
  18. Acquired a wedding planning book
  19. Stocked up my wedding planning book 
  20. Selected my bridal party
  21. Had David select his bridal party
  22. Stewed over who would be the maid of honor
  23. Attended 3 bridal showcases with my friends and bridal party
  24. Created a wedding website
  25. Had our engagement photos taken
  26. Sent out save the date wedding videos
  27. Researched wedding dresses
  28. Interviewed videographers
  29. Deliberated over videographers
  30. Finally settled on our videographer and sent our deposit! 
  31. Decided on a baker and sent a deposit
  32. Selected our DJ and sent our deposit.
  33. Created a gift registry
  34. Researched hotels
  35. Viewed 9 different hotels before picking our honeymoon destination.
  36. Decided on DIY Decor
  37. Hosted an engagement party
  38. Bought wedding dress
  39. Designed invitations
  40. Handcrafted invitations
  41. Mailed out invitations 
  42. Created a seating plan. 
  43. Updated my expired license
  44. Lost those last 33 lbs ;p (comparison entry -> here <- )
  45. Logged in everyday to excitedly count the RSVPs as they came in. :) 
  46. Got the girls together and decided on the bridesmaids dresses. 
  47. Found a dress for the flower girl and ring bearer 
  48. Booked the rehearsal day with the venue. 
  49. Booked hairstylist & Make-up artist
  50. Sent my day important dates to Jenny
  51. Found a necklace and earrings for my wedding dress
  52. Scheduled wedding gown fitting number 1
  53. Began DIY on wedding flowers.
  54. Selected ceremony music
  55. Worked out a menu with the caterer
  56. Decided on centerpieces
  57. Began DIY of centerpieces
  58. Selected speakers and readings for ceremony.
  59. Priced liquor
  60. Choreographed and practised first dance. 
  61. Made parking arrangements for guests.
  62. Provided Jenny with a guest list for shower and bachelorette
  63. Discussed photos with photographer.
  64. Created a playlist for the ceremony prelude etc.
  65. Had my wedding ring sized

and all that remains is


  1. Acquire lingerie
  2. Decide on a menu with the caterer
  3. Finish DIY projects like decorations, favours
  4. Make appointment with hairstylist
  5. Order wedding cake
  6. Work out traffic and parking issues (make a map for guests)
  7. Arrange rehearsal dinner 
  8. Final ring payment
  9. Final payment to DJ
  10. Get the marriage license
  11. DIY Wedding Bouquets
  12. DIY Headdresses for girls
  13. Final payment for Venue 
  14. Finalize ceremony with officiant
  15. Select a gift for groom
  16. Seating Place Cards (DIY)
  17. DIY Table Number Cards
  18. Select gifts for wedding party
  19. DIY Seating chart
  20. DIY  guest book
  21. Acquire hair accessories
  22. Hair and makeup trial run
  23. First Fitting
  24. Order reception favours if DIY incomplete
  25. Pick out something old, new, borrowed and blue
  26. Pick up wedding David's ring
  27. Buy Flower Basket for beast
  28. Do name change paperwork, licence, banks, etc.
  29. Tuxedo rentals & fittings for groom & groomsmen 
  30. David has to write his vows
  31. Final gown, headpiece, etc. fitting 
  32. Arrange for someone to run errands for me on the day of 
  33. Call invited guests who have not yet responded and beat the tar out of them
  34. Attend bachelorette party
  35. Confirm transportation plans
  36. Confirm rehearsal plans
  37. Have final facial (eyebrow waxing lol) 
  38. Finalize count for rehearsal dinner
  39. Review duties with wedding participants 
  40. Review seating details with ushers 
  41. Assemble a bridal emergency kit (include spritz bottle for static hair) 
  42. Last-minute details with all service providers
  43. Discuss strategy with photographer
  44. Label envelopes with fees for officiant, dj, etc. (IF necessary, I plan to have all paid by June 21st)
  45. Send gift thank-you cards Track gifts
  46. Groom & groomsmen get haircuts
  47. Give gifts to wedding party
  48. Finalize reception count with caterer
  49. Attend wedding rehearsal and dinner
  50. Get a manicure/pedicure (David included :p )
  51. Pick up rental wedding attire
  52. Pack for wedding night and honeymoon
  53. Give wedding rings to best man & maid of honor
  54. Pay balance due to service providers (hopefully by June 21 giving me a stress free last month)
  55. Have hair done
  56. Sign and witness marriage license and run away screaming "IT'S OVER IT'S DONE!" 
So yes...wow! 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Day 301 - Addicted to RSVPs

I think I have reached a point where I might actually need clinical help! I log in as soon as I awake and squeal with excitement the moment I see that little rsvp check next to another guest.

However, a downside to this is that other guests who know they should be getting invites and have not yet received them are starting to question our friendship. David and I must hurry and finish up some more envelopes for the mail before we are disowned.

WEEEE WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING

I'm getting married! Yup, yup I am! *dances* 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Day 276 - Fun ideas!

I seem to just be running around gathering ideas lately. Mostly fun things for the guests and photography areas. 
This one idea popped up on pinterest and although I don't yet have an account I snatched the photo. 
The idea is a scavenger hunt for your guests, I very well may do this.