Married woman!

It's done, I shall make a few more entries on here to discuss my wedding diy, money saving projects, coupons as well as what went right and wrong on the big day. But for now I'm going to just break down the budget for everyone who is wondering if we kept it within the tight budget of $5000.

Before I continue it is important to realize that in this budget we did not include the three things that we would have still had if we had instead chose to elope. Those three things were our rings, which we still couponed for and got for nearly 50% off and just over a grand combined. Our Justice of the Peace & our Marriage License.

Now, let's get down to the math shall we? I am not going to include all prices as I do not want to get any vendor in any sort of complicated situation. I will however let you know how much they saved us off their competitors and the total for the event. DIY stuff shall have prices and savings.

Ceremony:

The breakdown:

• Veil - typical cost of veil at a bridal shop is $80. I bought mine on clearance for $5.75. Total Savings = $74.25 
• Bouquets - I had my bouquets priced. The cheapest I could get for real flowers was $324. The cheapest I could get for fake was $350 (how does that even make sense?!) I went out, purchased my own flowers on sale a year before my wedding and DIY'd my beautiful bouquets. I then sprayed them with my favorite scents for an added touch. Total cost of my DIY project for all bouquets was $27.49 total savings with couponing and diy projects = $322.51
• Jewelry - Typical Cost for bridal jewelry is $140 I bought mine second hand as well as through sales and my total came to $5.75...and I looked beautiful!! The daisies in my jewelry matched my theme and the y-style necklace was exactly what I was looking for! Total savings = $134.25
• Flower girl outfits (shoes and dress etc.) - typically cost $120 I picked ours and waited nervously until they went on sale. Not just on sale, BOGO (in both cases). I bought the flowers second hand and the total cost was $36.49. Total Savings = $83.51
• Tux rentals - we called in a favor/gift from a friend and saved $32.21 off the competitors price.
• Bubbles - for the ceremony - typical cost was $22.43 for the amount we needed. I bought mine and DIY'd tags for $16.10. Total savings $6.33
• Photography - The photography was a wedding present from a dear friend saving us $2000!!!
• Save the Dates - Typical Save the Dates including postage run you $64.06 for our amount. Ours was a video that I DIY'd and e-mailed to all our guests. Total Savings $64.06. ;) 
• Wedding invitations - Average cost for what we were wanting and in the amount we wanted them was $170.4 postage included. I DIY'd what we wanted and our total came to $37.50. Total Savings $132.90
• Shoes - My shoes were my old prom shoes. They were my something old. Unfortunately being that they are 8 year old shoes .... they broke on the way to pick up invitation material. We're going to guess that new (NICE) wedding shoes typically cost at least $50. My wedding shoes cost me $2.06 in super glue to repair the strap. Total savings $47.94. I did have back up shoes which I purchased on sale 40% off and then couponed to get an additional 15% off. Although these didn't end up being my wedding shoes I was still quite proud of myself for saving $60 off the market price for my spare shoes.
• Videographer - We were very blessed in finding our videographer. He was able and willing to provide me with raw footage for my own editing. This saved us $700 off the lowest priced competitor and he was worth every cent. 
• Hair & Make-up - Didn't bargain too much off this because I wanted to look my best on the big day. Typical cost was $130 with couponing I was able to get mine done for $86.25. Total savings $43.75
• Wedding dress - Now, this is a tough one. You see I bought my dress before finishing my weightloss. It fit me almost perfectly when I bought it but after I finished losing weight the alterations were necessary. However, had I lost the weight before shopping I'd have not been able to get the deal I got and therefor would have had to spend more on the dress and likely still get alterations. Therefore it is still a savings. The wedding dress budget was $600 which I just barely went over. the cost of my dress was discounted because I was buying it off the rack and saved me $230. 
• Dress alterations - As it turned out, the tailor was a cousin of my friends. Out of the kindness of his heart he saved me $28.75 off the comparable price. 

Ceremony average cost $5852.61 Compared to my total cost of $1979.29! 66% savings

Reception:

The breakdown:

• Venue - Our venue gave us a deal & then combined that with a generous contribution from the grooms parents and our total savings off the compared market was $1060
• Wedding Cake - Our cake price changed as time went on but even in it's final realm it was a bargain as compared to the next lowest quote I was given. Total Savings $60
• Food & Misc. - This was HUGE for us! Not only did they work with our budget but they also helped to customize our meal so we (the vegetarians) could have a delicious and special meal for our wedding day. If anyone is looking for a place to get married they can't do much better than our venue! Although we did have some wedding crashers in the end we still managed to stay within budget. Our total savings as compared to market $4513.63 and with their help was $1012.65. I'm not going to use the total as compared to market as the two venues were very different. But it still gives you an idea of what we were dealing with before finding them. 
• Centerpieces - I had what I wanted priced by several independent and company owned locations and the average cost per centerpiece was $55. I bought all my own stuff and DIY'd my centerpieces. With a contribution from a dear friend my DIY'd Centerpieces cost me $35 in total! Saving me $597.5!!
• DJ - Our DJ was a long time friend of mine whom I used to have DJ our school dances. I had always teased him in High School that someday he'd DJ my wedding. I was so glad that when I contacted him he was actually still interested in DJing my wedding. Because our wedding was on a Monday the market had offered us a deal which my friend gave me an additional deal on. Total savings for the Monday wedding + a friend DJing the dance was $200. 

Reception average cost $5849.02 Compared to my cost of $2918.87! 50% savings

So our budget to start was $5000. I thought I was too ambitious but in the end our wedding came to a value of $11,701.63 and with couponing, DIY and shopping around for a better deal our total cost came to $4898.16 meaning we stayed under budget by $101.84! 

With a time machine would I change anything? Not a thing. The personalized DIY details were some of my favorite parts. I made a lot of new friends in the industry as a result of shopping around and I learned a lot about sticking to a tight budget over the year. We survived the crazy budget and can tell the tale about how we saved 58% off our entire wedding cost.

Thank you to everyone who helped us make it down the aisle!!

Day 611 - Last entry

Not even sure what to put here. I'm running around ensuring everything is ready for tomorrow but not the slightest bit scared. I was smiling at something David said yesterday that I thought I'd share with you.

Everyone keeps asking David if he is getting excited and/or nervous. He is so relaxed and laid back and he said one time when someone asked and he seemed casual they said, "Am I more excited than you?" he said, "I don't know how to explain it. It's not that I'm not happy, or not looking forward to it. It just .... it just feels right."

That about sums up the emotions in the house lately. Our daughter has been coming into our room in the morning counting down the days. I even accidentally captured her excitement at the rehearsal when I ended up recording her squealing about our wedding. I believe she thought it was our wedding that day and not just practice. Regardless she was extremely excited! I'm scared that I'm going to forget something but then I remind myself of just how organized I am so with the exception of mother nature and others I can't control what happens and I'm just going to have to relax and enjoy the day....YA RIGHT! ;p

But really, I've done this before. I've choreographed 24 kids into a shakespearing play which we then executed in front of an audience of their family and friends. I can choreograph a measely 70 adults to do the same....right? :p

No matter what happens tomorrow I will be happy because tomorrow I marry my best friend!

<3 your hippie bride, will return as a hippie wife 

Day 603 - Feels like home

With 9 days left until our wedding it's down to those last minute details. The flower baskets, the seating charts, the garter, the boutineers, the wedding favors, the bubbles....the emotions!

A few days ago while in the shower, very suddenly and with no explainable reason I started to bawl. It wasn't happy tears, I was sobbing and confused all at once. Just as quickly as it washed over me it was gone and I was content again. I stepped out of the shower still looking confused. I have shrugged it off as being tired and my body just needing to get emotional for no reason.

The last person I expected to be excited is perhaps more excited than all of us. Our daughter! She has been running into our bed in the mornings squealing, "you're going to get MARRIED! We're going to go to your wedding and you'll have your wedding dress and I'm going to stand and be quiet and watch you get MARRIED!" she bounces up and down with her eyes wide and her hands clapping together and flapping around. Every time she hears a song that has become associated with our wedding in some way she will stop what she's doing to look at us and squeal, 'THAT'S YOUR WEDDING SONG!" or "THAT'S THE SONG FOR YOUR WEDDING!" She has even decided that at our wedding she wants to dance to a song she now calls "our song" with her mommy and daddy. So in addition to having our first dance we are going to follow with our first dance as family with our daughter.

She has watched us practice our dance together and has even insisted that I practice our dance together. This mostly consists of her sticking her arms out and spinning around. But I play along and the day of the wedding I will do the same if that makes her happy.

I asked David the other day how he knows he loves me. He responded that it was just a feeling. I asked, "And what does it feel like?"
"It feels like home." I laughed and began to sing the song for a second before he continued, "a longing, comfort. Feeling safe. Not being able to imagine life without you." He said more and has had variations on the same thing but to be completely frank I must cut this short as my seating chart is quietly waiting for me to complete it and Uncle Jer has taken our excited daughter out for a smoothie. I must take advantage of the toy free floor. :)

<3 9 days <3

<3 your hippie bride

Day 583 - Dance till you drop

Last night was my bachelorette, a silly but necessary component of the modern bride's trip down the aisle.....okay, maybe not necessary but I can not imagine not having one.

For the purpose of being completely honest I shall tell you that my brain is fried. I am tired, I was drinking and as much as I am not hung over and wasn't drunk, I most certainly am finding it difficult to put words together this morning. Please ignore the choppy manner by which I relay the night to you.

timeline? Sure.... informal...choppy, perfect for a morning after blog entry.

• My maid of honor showed in the am to come with me to my make-up appointment. I had booked it for the bachelorette day so I could see how the make up held up through a full day. If it was successful and looked good I would have them do my make-up the wedding day. It was a success. 
• We returned home to wait for our "extra guest". The bachelorette was to be the bridal party plus one although later it was plus two. Unfortunately one of my bridesmaids found herself ill the night before so she was not able to make it to the bachelorette. :( But we will have to abduct her for another day out! A post-wedding celebration! 
• With our "extra guest" in tow we headed out to lunch at my friend's restaurant. I'm hoping to have our rehearsal dinner at the same location. 
• After lunch it was off to have a mani-pedi with the girls. We met up with my sister (other bridesmaid) at this point and the four of us laid back and got pampered. okay, perhaps 3 of us, my sister apparently does not find the pedicure process very pampering. We got a kick out of her squirming during the process though. 
• After this we ran back to my place to gather our gear for the night and pick up the plus 2. 
• At my sisters place we started the night with a sexy and the city party. Even cooler than I could have imagined. :) Won some awesome prizes too! 
• Then garlic fingers, penis cake and more booze. Followed by a trip to the club. 

I can say this for dancing or at least heading out to a club for a bachelorette, at least for me, is a very different atmosphere than just going out to the club. I couldn't quite peg it last night but looking back this morning I think a biggest thing is that your upcoming wedding is at the front of your mind the whole time. Not necessarily stressing you but perhaps distracting you or maybe even just adding an element to the moment. When you are going out dancing you are just going out dancing and to everyone around you that is the same fact. But when you go out for a bachelorette you are going out dancing to celebrate the end of your single life. Typically this involves some tell tale jewelry which results not only in free cover but also in congratulations from complete strangers and oohs and awws from girls who want to see your ring through their beer goggles. I had expected DJ's to be a little more attentive which at first was not the case. But when we switched bars or at least sections of the bar to another DJ he was a lot quicker to provide the tunes requested! Although, oddly enough for a bar scene, neither DJ had Shots - LMFAO something I've heard almost every time I've been out in the past year. But they did have Maneater - Nelly an older tune that my sister and I used to dance/drink to years ago. Just after that they played Low - Flo Rida a song which came out when I was pregnant and couldn't dance/drink to it at a club.
I think one of my favorite songs that the first DJ played was I will survive - Gloria Gaynor oddly enough a song I can't really stand ... I don't hate it, I just ... don't listen to it. If it is on an ipod I press skip. It's just...it is a theatrical song that you have to be in a theatrical mood to listen to. Sure enough, I dragged my Maid of Honor up unto the speakers and we belted it out to no one in particular and each other of course. So maybe it is a song I might at some point request in the future when out. Just a fun drinking out with the girls song apparently. Not a frequent one though, I put it on just now to see if I had a new love for it. I don't, in fact I'm about to turn it off when I finish this paragraph. However, it at least now has a memory to connect to it that will make me smirk when I think of me doing the running man on the speaker in my six inch heels while I told no one in particular to "go on now go! Walk out the door!" something I didn't realize was quite as dangerous until I did it sober last night. Those speakers have just enough space all around them for a heel to slip down and break a leg. Yikes, had I been drunk I think I might have injured myself quite badly! But I also wouldn't have been doing the running man on a speaker in 6" inch heels were I drunk. Nope...not a chance! 

OH another highlight of the night was that in the beginning on all the speakers there was a large group of people who were doing the same dance moves and getting the crowd in on it. They'd switch it up as if they were giving a fitness class or dance lesson. It was quite amusing. Although I didn't join in necessarily I did enjoy the random participation of the rest of the room.
Another would be this drunk girl who was loooooaadddedd t-rexing it all night. just back and forth with her trashed buddy up on the stage. she'd t-rex to one end of the room, sweep her hand through her hair then t-rex back to the other end. Ocassionally she'd switch it up by putting her hands on her hips and doing a move which can only be compared to the fresh prince doing Jump on it in high speed and then regaining balance to t-rex back to the other side of the room.

By the end of the night we were just getting goofy and having silly fun. I even tried to get a lapdance from a poor sap. All in good fun of course and didn't expect him to nor would I have let it go on for long, I guess you could say it was just me having fun at someone else's expense and seeing if they had the balls to put on a show for fun. When he didn't we just did ourselves, everything from mocking our t-rexing girl from the other bar to a quick spurt of thriller and then just random shit we named or associated with people or activities.

All around, a great night, and when I came home and curled up with my hubby-to-be it suddenly felt soooo real once more. He said the same, with all those last little details coming to a close it feels like that wedding is coming up. Which is good, since it is 29 days away! Now if only I could help his pen hit paper so he could finish start his vows! ;) 

See below the fold for a few pictures. Mind you there is a synthetic penis so this is not for the sensitive and/or virginal eyes. No babies, NSFW and don't come complaining to me when you walk away laughing.

<3 your happy hippie bride

Day 579 - Relaxed

Things have been both rushed and relaxed all at once lately. I feel pressured to ensure everything is ready for "the big day" but at the same time I have been so on top of everything that I feel I needn't worry quite so much.
All that remains is the final payments which are for the hotel we are staying at and a few DIY things. Although I will admit the DIY will stress me out until they are done because it is something I have to make not just earn. For that end money has been a little less stressful.
In 2 more weeks my pay will be no more and we have decided that for the summer we are going to go without an additional pay. This summer will be just us as a newlywed couple. Come September we will approach additional income.
I must finish my seating chart, although I am not sure how to approach it, I must shop for some shoes for this weekends bachelorette and I must get my eyebrows bushwacked! Hair trial run is on Friday and bachelorette is Saturday. It is going to be so much fun I can already see!

My wii told me I lost 6 lbs this morning. I weighed in 3 times because I thought it couldn't be. I am still convinced that the batteries must be dieing. I shall recharge them and convince myself that is it. 6 lbs in one day is INSANE and entirely unhealthy! I would expect to gain it all back by tomorrow morning of course. Or at the very least half of it. Although, I'd be lieing if I didn't say I thought it would be cool to keep it off as it puts me 2.2 lbs away from my goal. The goal I had originally been 1 lb away from last summer. Although I have not gained an inch I did gain 10 lbs over the year. I worry that my losing it lately is all muscle loss since I have been out of training from the marathon. As per an earlier post I do not trust simply one method of measurement and resort to the photo of me while I was pregnant. I have a photo of me at the exact same weight pregnant as I was in the other photo not pregnant and I feel it best represents how you can't simply trust your mass as an indicator of your health and fitness.

In the above photo you will see the 5 month pregnant me on the left and on the right me at the exact same weight as I was at 5 months pregnant. May this forever be a reminder for me to trust the measuring tape more than the scale.

Regardless, it'd be cool to reach that goal if even only for a day. Then I'll start doing squats again and building up those muscles and thus mass. :)

In unrelated news, we watched our next movie in the string of wedding movie countdown. It was Lucky 7 a sweet movie that had me tearing up at the beginning and the end! I feel for a made for TV movie it was AMAZING and for a movie in general it was great! A predictable but adorable story with this underlying story about a relationship with your mother that can tear at your heartstrings. As a mother I looked over at my partner in crime and promised to never leave him alone to raise our daughter. I feel I shall keep this movie as I thought it was worth a rewatch some time in the future.

33 days left

<3 your productive hippie bride

Day 576 - Bottom done gone falled out!

As that number of days until our wedding gets smaller and smaller so does my brain! You hand me something, I'll lose it within a minute and where we find it will make very little sense. Our best man got to witness this foolishness first hand this weekend when he handed me his iphone for a moment. I was sitting on the sofa with it and stood up, I remembered specifically putting it on the coffee table and then going to the bathroom to help him with my daughter.
In the bathroom I used both hands to open the cupboard looking for a thermometer to take her temperature. Because of this when we later went looking for the iphone we knew it couldn't have been in my hands when I left the living room. We looked everywhere, even my bedroom. I had gotten up and went straight to the bathroom, he was here... he can verify that when we found it on my computer desk behind the dining room table his reaction was, "when were you over here?!" and my answer was, "I wasn't!!!" I swear, I have gremlins running around my house right now, that's my only explanation to where things are turning up lately.

I have tried to keep myself completely distracted and our kitchen counters have never seen this much attention. Between our abstaining and my flighty mind I have all this pent up energy to use and I have been bleaching the crazy out of my counters, stove, walls, you name it. That's not to say the house doesn't have the usual amount of chaos but it's super sanitized where it's clean and neat. I just keep looking at that number of days remaining and feeling as though I have just enough time to finish all necessary wedding tasks and that if I waste a single moment I will have to forgo something :(
This worries me so much that I use my distractions as best I can.

However, when the day comes to an end and I sit down to say goodnight to the world I always come back to that same beautiful fact. In 5 weeks I will marry (yes I'm saying it again) my best friend!

Years ago we made a video to tell the story of how we ended up together and now here we are taking that next big leap. I laugh sometimes when I think of how much life has changed in the past few years. I laugh and say, "Had someone told us we'd end up here 8 years ago....we'd have rolled our eyes."
Anyway, the video of our story has always been a pretty good summation of our union and to this day the blooper reel makes me snicker. We had so much fun making the video even though it took far longer than we expected and two different days. Now I make videos in a very different way and am currently completing our wedding video for the day of the wedding. Fun times. I can not wait to walk down the aisle towards David. To see him for the first time that day and then of course take out some of this pent up...erm... I'll end this entry here ;)

<3 your ..um... forgetful...um...what is it... oh yeah, hippie bride! 

Day 574 - Final details

Today was the day we confirmed our meal selection, went through some final details and picked up my wedding dress. If I could describe my feelings today as one feeling I would. However, my feelings are really just a cluster of random extreme feelings. Fear, excitement, butterflies, love... is love a feeling?

With the venue appointment I was so full at the end it was unbelievable. It was nice to sit down with our co-ordinator and put those final layout descriptions on paper. I now know where I'm going to put specific things as well as where I will be coming in during the ceremony and even discussed a room divider to add something to the room. The way the room is I will be coming into the room, turning left then right then right again at which point I will be facing David.

Because of this I thought the room divider would remove the visual part of the left turn and as a result I'd just be walking across the back of the room and then up the centre.

After filling up on food and details plus paying off the remaining balance of the venue it was off to pick up our wedding dress. First we had to drop the groom and children off at home so there'd be no worries about loading the dress in the car nor risk David seeing it. As I put it on I was nervous and excited all at once. I love how it fits me since I've lost all the baby weight, I am worried about how the bouquet may hide me as it's big and I'm small. I'm worried about the fact that it's not a sweetheart neckline and so I may look smaller than usual. I'm worried about armpit fat. I'm just worried about so many things but mostly just excited to be marrying my best friend.

Lately I have been listening to loving music a lot just to envision the day. I have even changed my ringtone to what my daughter refers to as, "your dress song mommy!" she of course is referring to the video I have of me saying, "Yes to the dress" where the song played in the background.

At the venue today while trying to envision the layout and deciding on where aspects would go, where the aisle would be, where the groom would be. We had David stand at the end of the aisle and I walked down towards him. It was the closest to "real" we've had so far. Makes me that much more excited for the next 38 days to go by.

<3 your organized hippie bride. 

Day 570 - My big confession!!

First off, the geek in me must proudly proclaim that there are 42 days left until my wedding! If you don't understand why that is important .... pick up a book!

Second thing on the agenda would be the surreal feeling of getting married. As I sent David out today to get the comforter from the laundry room I realized, for whatever reason, that we were going to be getting married! I do not know if I have yet mentioned this, however, several years ago I spent a good year being completely unable to wrap my head around the idea that I was dating him. I blame this on us having been best friends for so long. In fact early in our relationship I'd find myself missing my high school friend on msn. I would be sitting on the sofa beside David and wondering what David was up to lately. Of course it was more of a feeling than an actual inquiry but it was a very real feeling. The only comparison I can give can only be appreciated by parents. When your child grows from a baby to a toddler or from a newborn to a baby you know it's the same child but a part of you misses the other child they used to be as though you have lost the first child and this is a second. You know in your heart they are one in the same but they are also so different that there is a part of you that goes to that crib wondering what happened to your baby.

Fortunately I never had to truly mourn for my friendship with David as we have always and still are friends first. It matters not what the circumstances he is and always will be my best friend. I go to him for everything and have a strong rule with friends, don't ever tell me anything I'm not allowed to tell him unless it is a surprise for him. For as much as I don't necessarily run to him with every detail of my life or my friends lives I keep no secrets from him for David is my best friend and the love of my life.

Alas, for that first year I would randomly say, "I'm dating David!" aloud to no one in particular. I'm glad David never found this offensive although at first he found it confusing. What was so strange about dating him. I of course explained to him and being that he knows me so well he understood. Lately, I have had similar thoughts regarding marrying him. I will be standing there at some moment in my day, perhaps folding his boxers, perhaps putting his oatmeal packet into the recycling (because he always forgets to do that) and for an instant my mind flashes from age 10 until now and WHAM I say, "I'm marrying David!!!" I guess it's like I instantly say aloud to no one in particular, "if you had asked me when I was 10, 13, 17 any age before 22 if I'd be marrying David and I would have scoffed at you. He's my best friend, we're just friends." I'd have likely msn'd him that night and said, "Oh Em Gee you will not believe what my neighbor asked me today!" we'd have laughed, he'd have joked "What's so bad about marrying me?" and I'd have told him, "oh shut up!" he'd have likely responded in some pervy fashion and the conversation would have digressed.

Lastly on the topics today is the movie pick of the day. It's not exactly last on the conversation topics but it is related to the last one. Tonight's movie was Confessions of an American Bride I just realized as I typed that title that it is similar to my own blog title today. Not planned, happy accident.

Not a great movie as it was made for TV. However, the storyline was sweet, funny and put together nicely. If only they had a budget and could have bought some nice actors they might have had something. They nailed your standard bridal problems and bridal feelings pretty nicely. Of course not every bride cheats on her groom as was the case in this story but still, for the most part it was pretty bang on. I did laugh though and said to David, "I hate movies like this!"
David - "Why?"
Me - "Because this *gestures to scene* raises the romance expectation to completely unlikely heights. No guy is ever going to do that!!!"

It's funny because the date scene I was referencing was more romantic than the proposal scene. Yet the proposal scene leads to my problem. Worse yet, my problem is a little personal. I'm not ashamed of it. Audience just might be a little sensitive to it. To remove all chance that you can blame me for reading further while still increasing your curiosity I'm going to go ahead and say that the problem is of a sexual nature and that I'm going to put it under the blanket where it's safe from accidental site.

To save my hubby-to-be's ego though I can assure you it's not THAT type of sexual problem. Oh no! Anything but that sort of problem. No.... this a problem of traditional proportions... very traditional!

You have been warned, and perhaps you have become curious but mostly you have been warned!

Day 569 - Movie Days

For the past few days David and I have debated over whether we have watched Three Men and a Little Lady so today I got up before David and skimmed through it. Right up until 30 minutes in I was sure I had never seen it. At 30 minutes in it hit me like your life supposedly flashes in front of your eyes. I knew how the movie ended. Not just how it ended in a prediction kind of way, but the last 20 minutes of the movie were clear in my mind. I spent the next 10 minutes skimming through the rest of the movie. Skipping ahead 5 minutes at a time to fill in the void that should have been the movie in my subconscious. Turns out that the ending is the only memorable part of the movie. The original was definitely far better than the sequel. Guess that is what it means for a movie to suffer a severe case of sequelitis.

Tonight's movie was to be Only You a movie in which the lead actress was told by both a Ouiji board and a fortune teller that she would marry a Damon Bradley as a child. Later, shortly after she is engaged to marry a man of a different name she receives a phone call from a former classmate of her husband who regrets he can not attend. What is his name? Damon Bradley. Of course she flies off in hot persuit of this Mr. Bradley and chaos ensues. It sounds interesting in a "meant to be" kind of way however even as I sit here watching Bonnie Hunt (or as I remember her from childhood Alice Newton from Beethoven) help search for Damon Bradley I can't help but think I have seen this movie before too.

David, in the meantime, has ventured off to play video games leaving me to tidy up while watching Only You convinced this is another movie that has left my mind with only patches. It looks like tonights movie will end up being In & Out afterall.

This wedding movie countdown turned out to be a good idea, as much as it's not uber romantic and even sometimes gory, as last nights Very Bad Things would prove. It still has gotten my mind off just how close the wedding is coming. With the exception of our hotel we have paid off all our wedding with only $104 left to pay. This is a reason to celebrate if you ask me! The additional good news is that we managed to pull this off *knock on wood* for just $5000, our original budget. We went over by a few hundred but all things considered I call that a win.

Now to finish folding the laundry while watching a movie I'm sure I've seen before. *sigh* I wonder if it was and will be again a moderately good movie.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 568 - Movie Nights & Stag parties

As I near the end of bill payments, wedding planning and worrying about forgetting anything I have been trying to steer my focus towards fun. In 2 weeks I will be celebrating with some of my favorite people at my staggette. I've been listening to clubbing music to get myself psyched to dance all night in a few days.

What better movie than Very Bad Things to show you how terrible things can go! I had watched a preview going in and thought I had a general idea of how things were going to go. I was, for the most part, wrong. I knew the first thing was an accident, I knew a lot more happened based on a shot where there were only x number of people in the vehicle covered in filth. What I did not realize, however, was that most of the events were not accidental. Take the hangover and turn it into a horror film and that is basically what you had.

I'd say the only parts I found enjoyable in the movie were the parts revolving around the bride-to-be. This was not because I too am a bride-to-be. This was instead because she was such a horrendous bridezilla that she was completely removed from the entire situation! Two severely handicapped children just suffered a rather large loss and slam something down in frustration thus throwing off her seating chart and her response is your classic "Why does all the bad stuff keep happening to me?!" Because of that role and the absolute, "I really hope there is no one out there actually like this." factor I did find her part slightly amusing. But the ending, although karmic in pay off, was so over the top and had no real point aside from Karma, that I was laughing not at the ending but at the fact that this was how it was ending. Not a great movie, not a movie I'll be rewatching and certainly nothing in comparison to others movies I've watched over the past few days.

But, perhaps a movie I can jokingly tell the Best Man is his "what-not-to-do" list movie. But then I would have to force him to watch it and that's just cold. Seriously though, if you're going to watch it, go in with low expectations and a large amount of some type of intoxicant!

<3 your hippie bride

Day 566 - Movie Nights

Marriage and relationships are made up of many things. One of those things is dividing tasks between parties. Today's tasks are play video games until way too late at night and watch one of the movies on the list of wedding movies until way too late at night. Guess who chose which.

It's quite simple really, when I spoke with David I learned that he had already watched The Other Sister, we had both already watched Wedding Planner and I, of course, had already watched American Wedding. I am surprised to learn he has not but not too anxious to watch it again myself. Seeing as he has already viewed The Other Sister and I had not, we decided that today I would watch it while he played some racing games on his PS3. An easy decision honestly given our individual personalities.

Not even halfway into this movie I was completely taken in by the characters. Such endearing and lovable characters. The sweet and wise quotes from them as well as the heartfelt, innocent moments only capable to be had by someone of an innocent mind. Then juxtaposition to, "we could try page 89....but I don't want to do page 155!" Hilarious and sweet all in one. A must see. I can't think of a single thing wrong with this film!

I love that in a way they approached two major issues in society. Obviously focusing on the handicap issue more than the other (spoiler and don't want to ruin the movie) but all the same. Nice added touch.


"Look, walking Wally is walking for us!"

<3 your hippie bride

Day 565 - Movie Nights

Day 3 of our movie nights.

It's a good thing we've watched 44% of these movies already because at this rate we're certainly not going to watch all 50 before our wedding in 46 days.

Tonight's movie was actually a movie we started to watch several nights ago. The first night it was interuptted by cranky moods. The second and third night it was interrupted by company. The fourth night we began to watch it but my throbbing headache forced us to finish halfway through and resume on today, the fifth night.

The movie was Bride and Prejudice not altogether a bad movie by any means but Kal Ho Naa Ho still kicks it's bollywood butt! The music was no where near what KHNH had and the storyline was predictable of course. What it did have going for it, however, is that not only did we know the sinister english man had something evil about him but we actually were curious to find out what it was. We had our usual outbursts of predictions as to what his back story was, but nothing we could commit to. When finally it was revealed we were basically right on all accounts but still we hadn't been able to commit to it.

A movie worth watching but hardly a top ten for wedding movies in my book.

Our next movie night will be one of the following:
The Wedding Planner (CHEESY)
American Wedding (FILTH)
The Other Sister (never watched before)

I vote we watch the one we've never seen simply because we're semi-low on time. But I suppose I should run this decision by my other half.

Until then, I shall rate the movie on my flixster account as per my habitual routine and then tuck myself in for tomorrow is another day.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 560 - RSVP

Today is the first of June which means the time to RSVP has passed. We actually had almost all the RSVP's in. The open dance invites were left with 21 who have not RSVP'd however 8 of those RSVP'd verbally and 1 of those expressed to me yesterday that she would not know until she heard back when her surgery was. There is obvious leniency with the open dance as the restrictions are far less. Still, it's nice to know your numbers by a date with some distance to the wedding.

I hope to see no more drama around this guest list but I am not going to count my chicks before they are hatched. For now I am just going to look forward to the next part, solidifying the vegetarian custom menu, verifying the numbers with the venue, rehearsing our coreographed dance, our stag parties and then marrying my best friend. 52 days to go. :)

<3 your hippie bride 

Day 559 - Movie Nights

Day 2 of our wedding day movie night countdowns and our movie tonight was a charming little movie called Our Family Wedding. A movie, I felt, combined 3 or 4 "done before" movies to come up with something new while still being predictable. I think my favorite wedding related part would have to be the guest list and seating chart section of the movie. Who to invite, the expectations of your family on who to invite and where they can and can not sit. It is funny that throughout your entire planning experience people will repeatedly tell you, "it's your big day, you shouldn't be obligated to invite anyone." yet in the end you are. If you do not invite those obligated people then you will suffer more later if not during the wedding.
The seating chart was the best displayed aspect. It took me back to my careful seating of everyone onto little paper tables and imagining who would kill who and who would get find a new friend in someone else. Trying to find a seat for the wedding party guests where they didn't know anyone except their significant other.
Like a special game of musical chairs where the stakes are higher than just ending up without a chair.

I went into the movie with low expectations because of it's low imdb rating. But with the warmth and familiarity with the wedding planning I could appreciate it. Weddings are complicated things but sometimes they must occur or else the family will feel they were given a rough deal. Then often times family is the first to forget who the big day is for and make it all about them. This only creates unnecessary drama and stress for a marrying couple.

Still I do not regret the whole experience, I find it to be a great opportunity to learn who your real friends are, who really has your back when the chips are down and how far people will go to put their wants above your needs.

This movie captured that quite well while still having a soft sweet core.

I believe the next movie is Bride and Prejudice. I have heard good things about that one.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 557 - Movie nights

With only 55 days left before our wedding I thought maybe we should watch some of the best wedding movies out there. Today's movie being "My Best Friend's Wedding" I don't know if I'm set myself up here. As I remember it I found the movie to be a tad frustrating and I wanted her gay friend to turn out to be straight after all. Something that would later happen in Jason Brigg's film "My Best Friend's Girl" hmmmm wonder if there is a relation to that result?

In any event, it was not the case and Julia Roberts is ... left... well I won't ruin the ending for you, although really, if you are reading a wedding blog I'd hope that you had watched some of the better known wedding movies.

I'll know tomorrow whether the movie choice for tonight was in poor favor of our moods.

<3 your hippie bride. 

Day 536 - Musical Chairs

I don't know that you would classify last nights dream as a nightmare or just a restless nights.

You ever have one of those nights where you dream you are studying, cleaning or doing homework all night and wake up feeling as though that is what you did all night instead of sleeping? Well that's what last night was.

There have been some guest list changes, as indicated by my posts over the past few days. With these changes some rearranging must be done for optimum enjoyment. Betty Sue can't sit anywhere near Cousin Sam because he once walked in on her in the shower. *AWKWARD* but Cousin Sam would want to sit near Alfred who is best friends and has flirtations with Betty Sue. Playing the seating arrangement game is similar to Tetris. You are not only trying to place them in the perfect fit but every now and then you have that awkward z shaped guest who only fits in 2 or 3 ideal locations without fudging up the works.

With some guests unable to come now and extra guests having been invited, it's time to play musical chairs. I wasn't too worried about it, thus it not being a nightmare, but it is high on my to-do list and apparently my brain has been processing it.

What amused me most about last nights dream was the combination of seating chart, reserved seats in the front with the possibility of that one surprise guest and the extra guests people keep inviting. This is how it went down.

I had the grooms men at the front with fancy clipboards DIY'd to be pretty and bridal. They would ask the guest for their name, check the list and if they were to sit in a reserved seat then one of the groomsmen without a clipboard would usher them to their seat. If they were simply one side of the room or the other they ushered them to that side of the room and the guest chose their own seat. If they were not on the list it was very high security. "I'm afraid I do not see you here on the list. Are you sure you wouldn't be under another name?" then they would put their finger to their ear and turn their head away from the guest like a presidential security squad and say, "Let me check with our bride. Yes, Gena, we have a Frankie Smith here but I do not see him on the --- uh huh, okay. That's what I thought." turn back to the guest and say, "No I'm sorry sir, you were not invited to this wedding." "But betty sue brought me!" "well I'm afraid Betty Sue has done you an injustice. If you wish here is a map of locations in the city where you can visit for the next 4 hours before the open dance."

Finally the extra special evil guest who not only is not invited but whom we have a peace bond against and has been instructed on several occasions in a formal manner to cease all communication with us. She showed in a video game style episode. It became an arial view of the ceremony location and her weapons showed above her head to let us know that she came armed with a pitchfork, knife and blowtorch. She first began by setting the headtable on fire, immediately put out by the best man as she swung around and lit 4 other tables on fire. Two groomsmen and the groom himself jumped her while the best man began putting out those tables. Meanwhile the Maid of honor were calling the police and they eventually showed to drag her away. It's funny in a sad way that I have had a similar dream about this guest going way back to my childhood. She was such a horrid person my entire life that I used to have dreams of her ruining my wedding back before I had ever been kissed. She would throw wine at me and I always ended up punching her in the face. The biggest change as years have gone by is that she is actually not allowed near me now and I have a group of security officials (tee hee) who will ensure that it does not happen.

Although I have been sent e-mails to tell me that she plans to attend with or without an invite, I am ensuring that does not happen. Perhaps I will start talking about my wedding location and time in detail to throw her off the scent. She won't know whether the location I speak of is the actual location or if I'm tricking her.

By the end of the dream we were trying to make room for guests in our tiny apartment. As we mushed furniture against the wall and rearranged our whopping 6 chairs I said, "wait....we booked a venue to take care of this for us!" and that's when I woke up thinking, "this is so incredibly foolish that it must be a dream.

The end result is me sitting down with my bridal bible and revamping my seating chart. I feel I should turn it into a digital copy so changes can be quicker if necessary. Maybe I will ax my pretty diy seating chart since changes keep being made.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 535 - Guest lists are for wussies

When I started the "engaged" chapter of my life I received many congrats and even more advice. The one piece of advice I received the most is the one piece of advice I scoffed at the most. Here are some statements I heard about guest lists over the past 535 days:

"Oh the guest list! What a pain! Try not to put too much of your heart into it because most people won't appreciate your consideration in the end."  

"About 90% will RSVP attending and about 60% of those will actually show up. What a waste of your money! I wish you luck." 

"My guest list caused me so much trouble I wish I had just eloped." 

"I don't regret my wedding or having gone through with it. I do wish I had had a potluck wedding and just put it out there that whoever the hell wanted to show could show. But I'm sure that would have pissed someone off too. You can't win with the guest list so don't try."

"Guest list? I threw out some names and hoped for the best. I ended up having mostly people neither me nor my husband knew there. I'd say of our guest list 30% were people we had invited and the rest were friends that those guests had invited without telling us!" 

"Oh what a headache! If you ever need proof that you can't please everyone you'd find it in the guest list at a wedding. In fact I am pretty sure you can displease most with a guest list. Everyone feels entitled or overlooked no matter what you do. Just don't expect anyone to show and thank everyone that does come, whether you invited them or not." 

"Guest lists and seating charts. They still haunt me and we've been married for 10 years now! I remember paying close attention to where I sat everyone because both our families were in year long fights. After all my painful efforts to ensure everyone got a seat next to someone they cared about it was horrible. People showed that we had not invited, the people who were to sit between those who hated each other ... they didn't show. And what's worse is that people stood around at the seating chart fighting rather than taking their seats away from each other. If I could do it over again I'd have just a simple ceremony, blow everyone a kiss and hop in a limo headed for the airport!" 

I never listened. I always said, "oh no... that won't happen to me. I'm going to make sure." I convinced myself that these brides just weren't as organized as me. I convinced myself that they had gone in with extra assumptions or hadn't stood firm on their desires for their wedding day. In some cases I may have been right. But when I offer advice for the next bride to be it's going to be this, "The moment you begin your guest list make sure you have a prescription for Valium because every time that phone rings you are going to look at the caller id in fear that it is his family or yours calling to tell you how you did them wrong, how you failed them, how they are far more important than anyone else on your guest list."

Perhaps the most surprising part for me is just how entitled a lot of guests can get. They all have some reason why they feel they are more important than anyone else on your guest list and because of that they should be allowed to:
RSVP at the last minute, invite 3 extra guests without telling you, change their mind 3 or 4 times, call you at midnight to insist you should have some other meal options or better yet tell you, "I know that you are offering fish or vegetarian but we've been friends for years, so I know you won't mind making mine a juicy steak!"
Yes... they are serious, they believe that above all others they are the most important person at your wedding. Maybe even more important than you!

The good news is this, I also heard plenty of drama stories about bridal parties being nasty and all about themselves. I have to say that although a handful of guests have made the whole experience interesting my bridal party have been strong and true through the entire 535 days and then some.

Better yet they each have their roles in keeping me from sending anthrax out with some extra invites to more snotty guests. I have to say I have the perfect balance of nice and firm with my bridal party.

Maid of honor - She's the super sweet one when it comes to family. Whenever a guest is a family member she is there to keep me soft when I need to be soft and feel like throwing daggers. But she is also willing to nod when the family member is being crazy and say, "nope, you are allowed to throw daggers at that one. Ax that invite!"

Bridesmaids - I have one bridesmaid who is family and she is the one who knows without any backstory what I grew up with. Therefore when I have a dilema that needs immediate advise without taking the time to explain a backstory it would be her I call. My other Bridesmaid has already been a bride and knows a bit about the planning fun and the wedding drama. Through her I channel my etiquette concerns through her and ask what she did in certain situations.

Best Man - He's not just David's best man he's both of our best man! Aside from David he's the only man that's been around since the beginning and still is. He's been around more than my own family (which isn't saying much but still) he's the one I call when I am frusterated with David and need an ear I know won't hold it against David. He's also the one I call when I need the opposite reaction from my Maid of Honor. My Maid of Honor is the softy with family and sometimes you need someone who is tough. He is less likely to soften for just anyone and so I know when he does that maybe I should loosen up on them a little bit.

As per my posts from the past, if it weren't for my bridal party I think there would be a few shallow graves or at the very least the guest list would be a fraction of what it is. I don't regret any of this, I just wish some of my guests would stop and realize this wedding is about us and that's not them! I guess my advice would not be for a future bride-to-be but instead to her guests. My advice is:

Dear Guest,
When you feel looked over, second-fiddle or unappreciated stop and ask yourself: "How big is her guest list? How many people is she trying to please right now?" And when you find yourself feeling upset that you have to spend $200 on a hotel just to go to her wedding and you feel she should pay for your accommodations or give you a steak instead of a haddock, ask yourself: "How much money did she put into this wedding so everyone could have a good time? Can I afford to go? Should I send a nice present instead of going and talk to her personally so she knows it's nothing personal but that I can't afford $200 plus travelling cost?" If you find yourself thinking, "they won't mind if I bring my best friend. After all I am their cousin/friend of 6 years/father/mother/sister/brother/uncle/aunt/ex-boyfriend and/or I am travelling a long distance to attend their wedding." perhaps you should ask yourself, "How many of their guests have they been friends with for a long time? How many of their guests are traveling a long distance? How many of their friends are family of some way or another? If all of us feel the same entitlement to bring uninvited guests how many uninvited guests will be at their wedding?"

As a bride-to-be all we ask is for a little patience, understanding and respect. Be patient if we don't get to you right away when you send us a message about our wedding. Understand that we can't give everyone everything they want and respect that in some cases we don't give everyone everything they want because it's not what we want for our wedding! Give us this and we will do our very best to do the same at your wedding if you invite us. We are sorry if your haddock is too dry on the wedding day, we didn't cook it, but we did pay for it so you could have something to eat. We are sorry you prefer red wine and we ordered white. We don't like wine at all but ordered something we thought our guests might enjoy or be grateful for. We are sorry we didn't get to give you a one-on-one dance, there was only time for 40 dances and we had 80 guests. Please, before you get upset, ask yourself if you are being singled out or if in fact you are expecting a tad too much from one person.


Thank you so much in advance,
<3 your hippie bride...she is trying.

Day 532 - There's one in every family

How do you kindly ask your guests to keep all details of your wedding a secret? How do you approach explaining that? Do you follow up with answers to their possible questions?

I don't mind the date being known, it is more the location and time that I am worried about getting out. Why would this bride worry about that? It is quite simple actually. I am worried about the worst form of wedding crasher imaginable. The saboteur, antagonist, angel of darkness. The one who would walk in and do everything possible to destroy your wedding until the police arrived.

There is a solid rumor with some amount of ground to it that this particular person plans on arriving at my wedding. This would tragically effect the entire day in ways unbelievable to most!

It would start with her arriving at the wedding ceremony. She would probably time it so that she walked in as  the ceremony was ongoing. She would come in wearing a white outfit and insult me among the guests. If she decided to arrive before or after the ceremony she would spend her time hollering fictional tales about the bride, knocking over decorations, trashing everything she could and potentially throwing a staining beverage at the bride's dress and/or attempting to instigate a physical altercation with the bride and the resulting brawl.

Of course we would kick her out, however...how do you keep one out and how do you salvage your wedding after those events?

Long story short, it is absolutely necessary that she not learn when and where I am to be wed.

Maybe I was too calm and the storm is to be huge!

<3 your nervous hippie bride

Day 531 - Nightmares again?

Interestingly enough last nights wedding nightmare involved something I am not in charge of. Last night I had a terrible nightmare that David's stag night had not been planned at all and that the night before I threw together a quick event on facebook. Inviting all his male buddies and in some cases their wives figuring the wives could come hang out with me. Only one person was able to attend. He came, brought his wife (who is pregnant) and we all hung out drinking. David felt brokenhearted that few had shown and I woke shaking my head.
The good news is I am not having nightmares about things I'm directly involved with right now so perhaps my inner bride is feeling completely in control. :)

With 81 days left I am finalizing those last details and chasing down those few last RSVP's so we can finalize our guest list once and for all.

<3 your hippie bride

Day 529 - Calm waters

It's amazing, a few weeks ago I was stressing about all those extra details and now here I am waking up each morning just excited to be getting married in 2 months. It's hard to believe that in 83 days I will marry my best friend. Have I said that too much lately? It's starting to sound redundant over here but as redundant as it may sound it feels new each morning.

There are still a few things that pop up to stress me but for the most part it is simply other people's roles now that I am dealing with. Speakers, speeches, readings, vows... just a lot of words put together and of course our first dance as husband and wife.

We met with the Justice of the Peace yesterday to arrange the order of the ceremony, readings and vows. Having that sorted out now I am focused on writing my thank you speech for the bridal party and those close to us.

We have solved the extra guests problem and don't have to worry about turning people away at the door. A great sigh of relief for all.

• 19 days left until I run the marathon
• 22 days left until my bridal shower
• 25 days left until my first dress fitting
• 26 days left until I protest Prop 8 with my daughter
• 29 days left until my daughter's 3rd birthday 

So many things I have to accomplish in the next few weeks it's a little overwhelming. You'd think I'd be at my wits end. Instead, I'm living in the now. I know, looking ahead, that in 2 weeks I AM going to be stressed, tired and overwhelmed....probably easy to weep. But I feel that there is nothing I can do to spread those days further apart and so I will instead take a deep breath and enjoy the now. Focusing mainly on training for that marathon. Train, train train! In the next week I will be running 5km every second day on a flat stretch. The next week I will start running that 5km up a hill every second day. The final 5 days I will spread out getting only 2 days in. The focus then will be on sleep since the marathon will be early in the morning.

The bridal shower I don't have to stress too much about personally. I simply have to be able to walk after the marathon.

The dress fitting should take care of itself, with all that running I should be in prime shape....here's the hope.

The protest will be a pretty simple activity too, simply remembering to get there on time and with the beast in good spirits.

Lastly her birthday, perhaps the only part I have to prepare for. I am hoping for good weather so we can have it at the playground this year. This will reduce the amount of preparing within my home. I have a small dwelling and if there are any more than 5 adults here it gets very crowded very fast.
Having it at the playground will require some transportation planning on our part and getting the cake there etc. But I feel that will be much better than trying to make room in our own little itty bitty apartment.

Frustratingly we are still waiting for some RSVP's but considering how many are left it's not too bad in the grand scheme of things. Only 9.5% have not RSVP'd and 2 of those told us they were going...they just haven't carved it in stone yet.

I guess I should get back to some DIY projects with this 2 week break I have. But first.... some meditation while I still can.

<3 your peaceful hippie bride

Day 527 - Spoke too soon...

Alas, the nightmares have not disappeared. As we are finding these uninvited guests on our list we face a new dilemma. We have some guests who have not RSVP'd yet and as such we are not sure if we have room for these extra people our guests have sprung on us! With that...a new nightmare.

Last night I had a dream/nightmare that we were (or at least I was) at some sort of self-help-group for brides-to-be. It was much like the setting we had for our birthing class of years past. A group of people in similar situations as you all discussing their plans and complications. Each would go around the table as on the first day of a class like this and introduce themselves and state how long before their wedding.

In birthing class it went like this, "Hi, my name is ____ and this is my spouse _____ and we are ________ months/weeks pregnant with our 1st/2nd/3rd/8th child. We are having a girl/boy/baby of undetermined gender."

In this class it went like this, "Hi, my name is ______ and I am marrying my spouse in ________ days/weeks/months/years."

My introduction was, "Hi, my name is Gena and I am excited to be marrying my best friend in 1 day and 1 hour." I said it so casually like I had all the time in the world and then it's like the person in the dream realized at that moment that it was a shockingly short amount of time and why the hell are they here when they should be getting ready for tomorrow! My me in the dream said, "HOLY SHIT! I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!" I rushed out of the room to find David because we still had to deal with the unexpected guests and those who were not determined whether they were coming yet! I sat at the computer with my veil on and sent a mass message to all the "undecided" guests saying in much more formal terms, "You, poopy heads...tomorrow is our wedding...are you coming or what?!" I didn't click send because as I was typing my MOH came in with her dress on and was panicked that I was not in my wedding dress yet. Evidentlly it had taken me a day to get home from the self-help-class and we needed to hurry to the venue.
At the venue it was total chaos. Guests had brought friends who of course were not on our seating chart. No one knew what the fudge was going on and not only were the "undecided" there but they too had brought extra uninvited urchin to the event. Our slim guest list was now an overweight 200 guests and we were not able to have our wedding on time. Instead David and I had to hide in other rooms (so as not to see each other) while the bridal party flipped through the guest list like elementary school, "Is uncle bob here!" "HERE" "okay... you go with the Best Man, he will see you to your seat. How about Cousin Sally?" "present" It was terrible. And those not on the guest list had to sit outside in their best suits and wait until 8pm that night when they might be able to squeeze into our open dance. Which of course we have room for a few more there.

I woke and shook my head, "clearly I need to deal with this problem head on."

I am still not sure how to approach this...what is a nice way to tell someone, "hey...we didn't invite that person. I'm sorry you felt the need to do so without first asking us...however, if you wish to have them come to the open dance there is still room there. Maybe they can chill at the mall for 4 hours while they wait for the open dance. Next time....consider our guest list before you rewrite it."

<3 your sleep deprived hippie bride

Day 526 - Nightmares are over!!!!

As indicated by previous blog entries, whenever I have had a dream of our upcoming nuptuals it has always resulted in a nightmare.

Everything from the invitations not being sent out and no guests attend to getting dressed in shaggy gardening clothes because I haven't picked out a dress yet!

Last night.....I had a sweet dream. It was the night before our wedding and I was simply content and excited to be marrying my best friend. Is it possible, could it be, the nightmares are passed us and I can now just be happy to be marrying my best friend in a 2.5 months? Oh how delightful would that be!

<3 your excited hippie bride

Day 525 - Wedding crashers...

What is so complicated about an RSVP that people do not understand? Lending back to the beginning or at least the early part of our engagement I was asked, "Do I really have to RSVP? You know I'm coming." To which I gave a resounding, "YES...YES YOU DO!" Sure I may figure you are coming, I also figure most of the people I invite are coming. So, yes! Yes you absolutely need to RSVP.

I suppose I could have said, "Do I need to send you an invitation? You already know I want you there!" *facepalm*

But now we face a new problem. All along people who were not given a guest would ask if we would mind if they brought this guy/girl they just met the other night. Because of space we could not offer a guest to each of our guests. Had we done that we'd have only been able to have half the guests we invited. We'd have basically had to decide whether we wanted our friends there or our family. Our answer to these requests were for them to check back with us in April of 2012 after all the RSVP's were in. If there were any who RSVP'd with "not attending" then we'd clearly have room for an extra person or two at that point. These people were more than happy to oblige and as indicated in my previous post... by April.... they were broken up with that guy/girl and the extra space was not necessary.

We are fast approaching May now and still a few stragglers have not RSVP'd, this we expected, anticipated and are prepared to chase down those meal selections. What we were less prepared for were the guests who did not ask if they could bring a guest but we have now found out planned to bring one anyway. I don't understand how they planned on that working out. If you have an RSVP and it does not imply a guest then you have just invited your best friend since childhood to attend a wedding with you and they will not have a seat or a meal. What's worse is it's not the people in question who have told us, it's mutual friends who say, "Oh I didn't know you invited Sally Sue." and we squint and say, "who?"

Now we must sit over our guest list and thumb through to see how many other wedding crashers we should be prepared for! Not what we signed up for. As it is we are over quota right now by 3 people and that's before these uninvited guests are tallied in. I don't want to have to beg my Venue co-ordinator to make an exception for guests I didn't even invite! How embarrassing, it makes me look so unorganized when in reality I have kept on top of my numbers the whole time. It's my guests who haven't.


*sigh* oh the politics of weddings. I believe I have officially entered the realm of, "I can't wait to get this over with!"

<3 your flustered hippie bride

Day 518 - The curse of the guest

Today I am starting to wonder if my guest list is a curse to my guests' plus ones.

Let me explain. Our guest list has been so extremely shrunk over the months and for the most part our guests don't have plus ones. Some of these guests did as they were dating them for a while and/or living with them.

As the guests rsvp'd it became apparent that with the online RSVP I needed to give the plus ones their own RSVP ID because some guests's plus ones desired a different meal than the guest. I had told the guests I would rectify this in time. Since then, each time I add a plus one by name to the guest list ..... they break up!!!

This has happened half a dozen times now! Each time it goes like this:

Me - "Hey, can I have your boyfriend/girlfriend's name so I can give them their own ID."
Guest - "yeah sure it's Sally/Sam"

Me *insert name on guestlist*

~ 2 weeks pass ~

Guest - "So...um... you might as well take Sally/Sam off the guest list. We...well... we're no longer together."
Me - "what?! Are you serious?! I'm so sorry."

I would leave the plus one on the guest list for a few weeks and when I was certain the time had passed for reconsilliation I removed them.

I know people break up and life goes on. It's just tripping me out that my guests keep breaking up within weeks of having been added to my guest list. I'm relatively scared to add any other official names. I think they will remain plus one and any other alternate meals will just have to be run through us privately.

In wedding related news, picked up our marriage license today! Now to book an appointment with the Justice of the Peace.
I also found out I can't change my name for 3 weeks after I'm married. What's up with that?!

That's all from me, don't break up <3 your hippie bride

Day 511 - HOLY MOLY!

This week I've hunkered down hard on the wedding to do list. I finished paying for David's ring today, I bought my wedding dress lingerie yesterday, I've been finishing up my DIY list and sent out the last of the invites. I am also tieing down all those extra details that aren't physical.

As I did all this I realized today marks 101 days before our wedding meaning that this Sunday we hit the double digits! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! I don't even know how I feel about that!

<3 your overwhelmed hippie bride

Day 502 - Productive!

I love when my maid of honor is around. I seem to get right into wedding mode when she is around. I think mostly because she typically is focused on it. Today I checked off so many things on my wedding list. They may seem small and trivial but at this point there are just a lot of trivial things left.

Bought the girls headdresses, designed the open dance invitations, bought lingerie for the honeymoon, bought another bouquet holder for the bridesmaids so I could finish another bouquet! Oh and made a payment on hubby-to-be's wedding band. :) All-in-all super awesomely productive day.

Now to lose these last 10 lbs...off for a night jog.

Only 110 days left!!!!!!!

<3 your excited hippie bride!!! 

Day 501 - Passed around

WOW! That was INSANE!

Today I set out to do the simple...or what was supposed to be the simple task of applying for our marriage license! I called my local department who directed me to another department who told me where I needed to go. For simplicities sake we'll say that I was told to go to their centre midtown on Mario street (Hubby-to-be is racing with the kids on mario kart....so sue me) To give an idea I will lay it out like this:

• 1:34pm I take a bus to Mario street midtown which is about 10 minutes bus ride away. 
• 1:50pm I wait in line at the centre and at my turn I tell them I am here to apply for a marriage license. The lady tells me I need to go downtown (30 minutes away) to the vital statistics department on Horatio St. Flustered I leave with a piece of paper that has the vital statistics phone number and address. 
• 2:10 while waiting for hubby-to-be to check his text and tell me what bus to take I check my balance to see if while I'm here I should make a payment on his wedding band. Don't want it to be a wasted trip. I decide against it and head for the terminal completely annoyed.
• 2:18 while waiting for the next bus to Horatio St. which isn't due to arrive until 2:30 I stare at the number. I think to myself, "My transfer expires at 4pm if I go all the way downtown to Horatio St. I will arrive at 3pm....and chances are they are going to tell me it's the wrong place. So I call the number Of course they tell me that I don't need to go to Horatio St. that I need to go to Mario St.I inform the representative that I am currently at Mario St. and they told me to go to Horatio. She gives me another number.
• 2:20 pm I phone the other number who tells me "You don't need to be on Mario or Horatio st. you need to be on Bowser Road Inbound!" This is a 4minute busride from my home!!!! I could have been done SO much faster! This is rediculous! Right in front of me is a bus which will take me there so I thank her and hop on said bus. 
• 2:22pm I call hubby-to-be while waiting for bus to leave and tell him, "I should be home soon." I explain what has happened and then say, "And if this place turns me away then we just aren't getting married!" 
• 2:26pm Now off the bus at Bowser Road Inbound I realize I hadn't acquired an exact address from the lady. I have a pretty good idea where it should be as Bowswer Road is pretty abandoned. But to be safe I call the city back and explain that I have been bounced around a lot and want to make sure I get to the right spot since my transfer expires at 4pm. On a side note I was supposed to meet my boss at 3pm so there is even more stress on this timeframe! 
• 2:30 I go stand in line. A gentleman says, "Can I help you?"
  "Only if you want to. This is my third try!"
  "Your 3rd marriage? Are you sure you want to?"
  "No no...my third attempt at applying. First they sent me to Mario St. then Horatio st. now here, if this doesn't work I'm giving up." He laughed and asked if the man knew he was getting married because "it doesn't make a good present."
  "Yeah he knows." 
• 2:41pm I exit the building successfully completed my application. FINALLY Head towards bus terminal. 
• 2:50 I'm approaching bus terminal from inside a building when I see the bus home is getting ready to leave. I run like a mad woman at the doors to get to the bus in time. I push softly on the first door as I exit and it opens to the right so naturally I think the next one which is 2 feet away will also open the to right. I hit the edge with my wrist and all 100 lbs of force behind me SMACK might as well have ran into a wall for all the good it did...evidently THAT door opens to the left..... ouch! Swollen and injured I board the bus where a less than impressed driver grudgingly lets me on. 
• 2:53 I arrive at my stop and begin the walk home rubbing my throbbing wrist. Walk in the house take off my jacket and see my boss pull in. Phew, that was close.

What  a day!!!!!! I think I'm going to have fat friday a little earlier this week....aka today! :p

<3 your sore hippie bride

Day 496 - Kuch To Hua Hai (Something Has Happened) (edit)

Here we are, day 496! WOW! What does that mean for planning? It means I have 116 days left until my wedding! As I sit here in my intensly organized jumble of wedding plans I can't help but think, "WOW!" That's pretty much all I think now.

In the past 496 days I have

1. Announced our engagement. 
2. Selected a wedding date
3. Determined a budget
4. Stuck to the budget 
5. Selected wedding rings.
6. Paid for our wedding rings
7. Decided on a guest list
8. Researched venues.
9. Fell in love with a venue
10. Adjusted our guest list so we could afford the venue
11. Had several mental breakdowns over the guest list
12. Discovered most venues require a minimum revenue.
13. Had hellish nightmares of unplanned weddings
14. Found a venue
15. Booked and paid for the venue
16. Gathered inspirational images to help in the planning
17. Decided on colors
18. Acquired a wedding planning book
19. Stocked up my wedding planning book 
20. Selected my bridal party
21. Had David select his bridal party
22. Stewed over who would be the maid of honor
23. Attended 3 bridal showcases with my friends and bridal party
24. Created a wedding website
25. Had our engagement photos taken
26. Sent out save the date wedding videos
27. Researched wedding dresses
28. Interviewed videographers
29. Deliberated over videographers
30. Finally settled on our videographer and sent our deposit! 
31. Decided on a baker and sent a deposit
32. Selected our DJ and sent our deposit.
33. Created a gift registry
34. Researched hotels
35. Viewed 9 different hotels before picking our honeymoon destination.
36. Decided on DIY Decor
37. Hosted an engagement party
38. Bought wedding dress
39. Designed invitations
40. Handcrafted invitations
41. Mailed out invitations 
42. Created a seating plan. 
43. Updated my expired license
44. Lost those last 33 lbs ;p (comparison entry -> here <- )
45. Logged in everyday to excitedly count the RSVPs as they came in. :) 
46. Got the girls together and decided on the bridesmaids dresses. 
47. Found a dress for the flower girl and ring bearer 
48. Booked the rehearsal day with the venue. 
49. Booked hairstylist & Make-up artist
50. Sent my day important dates to Jenny
51. Found a necklace and earrings for my wedding dress
52. Scheduled wedding gown fitting number 1
53. Began DIY on wedding flowers.
54. Selected ceremony music
55. Worked out a menu with the caterer
56. Decided on centerpieces
57. Began DIY of centerpieces
58. Selected speakers and readings for ceremony.
59. Priced liquor
60. Choreographed and practised first dance. 
61. Made parking arrangements for guests.
62. Provided Jenny with a guest list for shower and bachelorette
63. Discussed photos with photographer.
64. Created a playlist for the ceremony prelude etc.
65. Had my wedding ring sized

and all that remains is

1. Acquire lingerie
2. Decide on a menu with the caterer
3. Finish DIY projects like decorations, favours
4. Make appointment with hairstylist
5. Order wedding cake
6. Work out traffic and parking issues (make a map for guests)
7. Arrange rehearsal dinner 
8. Final ring payment
9. Final payment to DJ
10. Get the marriage license
12. DIY Wedding Bouquets
13. DIY Headdresses for girls
14. Final payment for Venue 
15. Finalize ceremony with officiant
16. Select a gift for groom
17. Seating Place Cards (DIY)
18. DIY Table Number Cards
19. Select gifts for wedding party
20. DIY Seating chart
21. DIY  guest book
22. Acquire hair accessories
23. Hair and makeup trial run
24. First Fitting
25. Order reception favours if DIY incomplete
26. Pick out something old, new, borrowed and blue
27. Pick up wedding David's ring
28. Buy Flower Basket for beast
29. Do name change paperwork, licence, banks, etc.
30. Tuxedo rentals & fittings for groom & groomsmen 
31. David has to write his vows
32. Final gown, headpiece, etc. fitting 
33. Arrange for someone to run errands for me on the day of 
34. Call invited guests who have not yet responded and beat the tar out of them
35. Attend bachelorette party
36. Confirm transportation plans
37. Confirm rehearsal plans
38. Have final facial (eyebrow waxing lol) 
39. Finalize count for rehearsal dinner
40. Review duties with wedding participants 
41. Review seating details with ushers 
42. Assemble a bridal emergency kit (include spritz bottle for static hair) 
43. Last-minute details with all service providers
44. Discuss strategy with photographer
45. Label envelopes with fees for officiant, dj, etc. (IF necessary, I plan to have all paid by June 21st)
46. Send gift thank-you cards Track gifts
47. Groom & groomsmen get haircuts
48. Give gifts to wedding party
49. Finalize reception count with caterer
50. Attend wedding rehearsal and dinner
51. Get a manicure/pedicure (David included :p )
52. Pick up rental wedding attire
53. Pack for wedding night and honeymoon
54. Give wedding rings to best man & maid of honor
55. Pay balance due to service providers (hopefully by June 21 giving me a stress free last month)
56. Have hair done
57. Sign and witness marriage license and run away screaming "IT'S OVER IT'S DONE!" 

So yes...wow! 

Day 488 - Dressed their best

OH MY GOODNESS! The crazy junk around getting flowergirl dresses.
After going through several stores to take advantage of the BOGO 1/2 off deal on the dresses only to find that 1 store had 1 dress and another store claimed to have 1 dress but never had ever seen that style of dress. The clerk argued with me regarding this to which I whipped out my ipod and showed her a picture. At that point she confessed that the dress she was holding was not the dress I was seeking.

I avoid pulling the bridezilla card but when I have told a clerk 3 times that the dress she is holding is not the dress I'm looking for....they need to believe me....I am the bride and the customer!

We gave up on Zellers (well I've given up on Zellers years ago) and returned to Sears where it had the dress in the right size and although it didn't have the BOGO 1/2 off sale it did have a % discount that made it so we only lost out on $10 that we could have saved through Zellers. Worth it to not shop at Zellers if you ask me. ;)

One less thing to worry about. That checklist is getting smaller as time goes on.

<3 your dutiful hippie bride

Day 470 - This is the one

Wahoo, found the dress for the girls! Only problem is my MOH's daughter is half the size of my daughter making her a size 2, the dress is only size 3 to 5. Before I commit to buying these dresses I want to know it will fit and look good on both the girls.

Other than that, no news this week. Just busy busy busy as always.

<3 your hippie bride